Free Love & Loss by C. J. Fallowfield Page A

together and you don’t spring a last minute outing with your friends on me I’ll deal with that.’
    ‘Great, easier than I thought, but be clear this is one of my strict non-negotiable terms Gabe.’
    ‘Does it include him?’ he asked quietly as he kept his gaze down on his hands. I didn’t even have to ask who, I knew.
    ‘Milo’s my friend, nothing has happened with him, nothing ever will and I still want to see him. You have no reason to be jealous of him Gabe, he’s like a brother.’
    ‘Mia I …’ he stopped and covered his face completely with his hands. I could hear him breathing slowly in and out, as if trying to maintain a level of calm. I said nothing, what more could I say that I hadn’t already? It was ages before he removed his hands and looked at me. ‘I’m not happy about it Mia, I trust you, but I don’t trust him. There’s something about him that I just can’t explain, but I guess I’m going to have to try and deal with that. I’d prefer knowing in advance that you’re meeting him and I want to know where you are with him at all times.’
    ‘If I do that will you try and be a bit nicer to him?’
    ‘Don’t push it Mia,’ he snapped as he flashed me my first glare. ‘I’m not comfortable you seeing him at all, don’t ask me to like the fucker,’ he growled and it was my turn to deep breathe to stop myself biting back.
    ‘So we’re agreed?’
    ‘I thought you might bring him up so I’ll agree on one condition.’
    ‘What?’ I sighed.
    ‘You’re never alone with him. I want you in public places only like the gym, or the student bar or cafeteria. Never on your own.’ He had his don’t fuck with me voice on, which was seriously infuriating, yet at the same time really hot. Sometimes I loved his dominant side, but only when it was about something I already agreed with. I sighed and nodded my head.
    ‘Ok, I can live with that. Thank you, I know that can’t have been easy for you.’
    ‘It’s not Mia, it’s the one fucking thing I didn’t want you to ask me to do, but if it’s a choice of conceding or losing you then I don’t have a choice.’
    ‘Gabe I promise I have been creeped out by loads of guys over the years, but I’ve never had that vibe from him. I’d go so far as to say after you and Doug, I feel safer with him than anyone.’
    ‘Not reassuring me Mia. I don’t need a reminder that if I fuck up he’s the guy who’ll you’ll turn to and end up bloody dating.’
    ‘Gabe he’s not, I’m just saying you can trust him to take care of me if I’m with him.’
    ‘Well I bloody don’t. Can we move onto point four as I’m getting wound up.’
    ‘Well that actually leads nicely to it. I need you to be honest with me, tell me when you’re getting tense, if you’re upset, in pain … just talk to me. You’re my boyfriend Gabe, but it’s more than that for me. You’re like my best friend and soul mate as well and I want you to let me in and let me help you when you’re struggling or hurting.’
    ‘I’m your best friend and soul mate?’
    ‘Yes.’ This time I didn’t whisper or blush, I meant it and I wasn’t embarrassed about it.
    ‘O baby,’ he sighed and grabbed my hand and kissed it. ‘You’re mine too.’
    ‘Really?’
    ‘Yes,’ he nodded. ‘I’ve never compromised for anyone Mia, that’s how important you are to me.’
    ‘So you’ll let me help you?’
    ‘I have a condition of my own for that.’
    ‘I’m listening, but please let go of my hand as I can’t concentrate when you’re touching me, it sends my mind somewhere else.’
    ‘Sex?’ he chuckled.
    ‘Yes,’ I giggled back.
    ‘Me too,’ he smiled and kissed my hand and put it back on my lap as he scooted himself back on the sofa, putting some distance between us.
    ‘So your condition?’
    ‘That you reciprocate Mia. You’re just as stubborn in refusing to discuss your feelings and that makes me nervous. I always worry that I’m doing something wrong. I need you