Free Love & Loss by C. J. Fallowfield Page B

to tell me if I’m upsetting you in anyway without you having one of your seriously hot pouty sulks.’
    ‘Pouty sulks?’ I gasped.
    ‘Yes,’ he nodded with a smile.
    ‘But I do pouty sulks so well ,’ I laughed.
    ‘You do,’ he agreed. ‘But if you have one, we have to talk about it after. Agreed?’
    ‘Agreed,’ I nodded reluctantly.
    ‘You don’t sound sure.’
    ‘I still worry that if you get too close to me you’ll hurt me.’
    ‘Physically?’
    ‘No, by realising I’m not this perfect thing you seem to think I am.’
    ‘Mia no one’s perfect, and I think we’ve seen the best and worst of each other. Whatever hang up you have that makes you think that you’re not worth being loved, you are. You have to trust me that I love you, foibles and all. I told you the only thing that could ever change that would be cheating on me, that would break my heart. You may not be perfect, but you’re perfect for me . You’re everything I ever dreamed of, maybe a bit more feisty and hot headed than I’d dreamt of,’ he said with a shrug and I laughed, ‘but I even love that side of you too Mia. There’s nothing in your closest that could ever change that.’
    ‘Nor me for you.’
    ‘Then we both agree to be more honest with each other about our feelings?’
    ‘Yes,’ I nodded and smiled at him. ‘So I’m done. Your turn.’
    ‘We’ve already covered some of them, the communication issues and if you’re with him you’re never alone, but whoever you’re with I want to know where you are.’
    ‘We discussed that last part before Gabe, what if I’m doing something as a surprise for you and telling you my location gives it away.’
    ‘Then you tell me who you’re with and that you can’t tell me where, but you keep in regular contact with me.’
    ‘Easy as that?’
    ‘Easy as that.’
    ‘Ok. What else is on your list?’
    ‘Three things.’
    ‘Now it’s my turn to be surprised, I thought there’d be more.’
    ‘Like you I’m trying to be reasonable and only come up with things that could cause a serious problem for me, or for us.’
    ‘Ok, hit me with them.’ I scooted further up into the corner of the sofa and took a deep breath wondering what was coming.
    ‘Your safety. You’ll take self-defence classes and not skip any of them and you won’t put yourself in vulnerable situations like wandering around in the dark on your own, or running alone, skipping out on me without telling me, or…’
    ‘Deal,’ I interrupted.
    ‘Seriously? I hadn’t finished the long list of situations. It’s a very long list Mia.’
    ‘You don’t need to Gabe. When I was in that car park the other night and heard that fight I was so scared, but I was more scared about what was happening to you than what might happen to me, so I get it. I won’t put you in a position where you are made to feel like that again because I hated it.’
    ‘Thank you and I’m going to remind you that this is a serious deal breaker for me.’
    ‘I know, I’ve got it,’ I nodded. ‘I’ve always had freedom to do what I wanted Gabe, but I’m not single anymore and I need to consider how my actions affect you. I’ll be careful from now on.’
    ‘Thank you,’ he gave me a quick smile that turned into a serious face as he chewed his bottom lip.
    ‘You’re looking nervous,’ I observed.
    ‘I am. I’m worried that if I bring up these last two items we may not agree and I don’t want to think what that could mean for us.’ He huffed out a deep breath and rubbed his hand over his mouth and I felt my stomach twist and my heart start to race.
    ‘Marriage and children?’ I whispered.
    ‘Yes,’ he said quietly, avoiding eye contact.
    ‘They’re your two final deal breakers?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘You need an answer right now?’ I could hear my voice trembling.
    ‘I need to know that you’re serious about your therapy and trying to get there Mia.’ He lifted his head to look at me and I could see the fear in his