Free Transcendence by Shay Savage

wrapping the edges around so they don’t fall out. I stand up and walk back to her, drop down to the ground in front of her, and hold out the wrapped fish.
    At least she will have something to eat tonight.
    “ Ehd-”
    I don’t look up even though I recognize my name-sound in the sounds she is making. I wish she would let me take care of her, but I also understand. Why would she want me as a mate? I have nothing to offer her, not even a decent mat to sit on in the cave.
    If I had known, if I had realized she was coming, I would have done it all differently. As it is, I would do anything for another chance to win her. I wish there were something as simple as another male to fight for her. At least then I would know exactly why I lost.
    She takes a step forward, and I close my eyes to wait for her to take the wrapped fish from my hands. I don’t want to watch her turn and walk away from me. Maybe I had been wrong all this time, and she has a tribe nearby. Maybe she had just wandered a little too far and fallen into my trap. I don’t know, and though the idea of a tribe of people close to me would have thrilled me a few days ago, now the thought turns my stomach. If she is from a tribe close to me, she probably already has a mate. I would not want to be somewhere where I had to watch Beh be with another mate.
    I feel the fur-wrapped fish leave my hands, and a little noise escapes my throat. I will not open my eyes though—I refuse to watch her go away. I hold my breath and wait for her footsteps to be out of my range of hearing, but I hear no steps at all.
    There is a soft, light touch of fingertips on the edge of my jaw.
    “ Ehd,” she whispers. Her finger trails over the tip of my nose, and my entire body shudders as I finally look at her. She makes more soft sounds as she crouches down in front of me and balances on the balls of her feet. I still feel like I’m melting, but this time I am melting into her—into her face, her eyes, her touch. We look at each other in silence for a moment before she huffs out a long breath. Her fingers run over my cheek and across my jaw again, and more soft noises come from her mouth.
    I still don’t like the noise too much, but at least the sounds aren’t loud. I am more confused now than I was before though. Why isn’t she leaving? She obviously doesn’t want me, so why hasn’t she left? She must have other people nearby because it would be too dangerous for her to be alone.
    Alone.
    I whimper as she makes more sounds, and she keeps touching my face. I don’t ever want her to stop. The feel of her fingers moving through the short hairs of my beard is indescribable but also makes me wonder: Does she think I am not old enough to be her mate? My beard is not thick like an older man’s would be.
    Her thumb runs over my nose again, and her lower lip disappears behind her teeth. She utters more quiet sounds, and my name-sound is among them again. Her eyes are as soft as the sounds she makes, and I start to doubt.
    I doubt everything. Everything I have thought since I first laid eyes on her at the bottom of the pit I dug to hunt antelope is uncertain now, and I have to try to figure it out.
    Did she not mean it when she hit my nose?
    Will she still be my mate?
    Do I not have to be alone?
    “ Beh?”
    I have to know for sure. Does she accept me as her mate or not? Did she react too quickly because of whatever I did to upset her but didn’t really mean what she did? Is that what she is telling me now?
    I have to know.
    Her hand doesn’t leave the side of my face as I rise up on my knees and reach out to touch her face as well. I am a little surprised when she doesn’t pull away from me, and with trembling fingers, I place my other hand on the other side of her face. I lean forward slowly until the tip of my nose touches hers. Her eyes close, and I can feel the stiffness in her arms, her nervousness coming through in her posture and muscle tension, but she doesn’t move