Free RAGE by Kimberly A. Bettes

some pages of my book and looked at her, straight-faced.
    She whispered, “You’re a mystery, Brian. But mysteries are meant to be solved. And I’m not giving up.”
    I gave her credit for trying. I loved that she wasn’t going to give up. I loved that she cared enough about me to try so hard and put so much thought and effort into it. I loved knowing that she thought about me so much. Just knowing I was on her mind was enough to make me want to smile. But even that couldn’t force those muscles to work.
    After English Lit, I returned to my locker to find another note from Carly taped to the inside of my door. It was another joke, another attempt on her part to make me happy. It said ‘Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?’ I turned over the note and read the back. ‘The retail store.’
    I looked down the hall, where she was waiting for my response. I shrugged. She shook her head and walked to her next class.
    After History, I expected to find another note but didn’t. I wondered if she’d finally grown tired of trying. I realized while in Woodworking that she hadn’t. I don’t think she was going to give up. She was serious and very determined.
    She spent the hour telling me jokes and imitating our teacher. Carly was funny. I had fun around her. I just couldn’t laugh or smile. It wasn’t in me. Guess I was just sad to the core.
    It really said something that she was trying so hard. I was starting to think she really did like me. Not just like me, but really like me. And when she asked me again if I’d asked anyone to the Spring Fling yet, I was almost positive that she did.
    “No,” I answered.
    “Are you still planning on not going?”
    “Yeah.”
    “I think you should go, Brian. You should ask someone.”
    “Nobody would go with me even if I asked,” I said, gluing the boards of her shelf into place with wood glue.
    “That’s probably not true. I’m sure there’s one girl who’d go with you if you asked.”
    I glanced up from the shelf and saw her looking at me strangely, a look I’ve never seen on her face. While it’s true that I had no clue how to read people, I got the feeling that the look was one of hope. I truly believed that she was hoping I’d ask her to the dance.
    And I thought about it. But the thought of what would happen when we got there and Dominic and his friends saw us together was enough to make me not ask her. I couldn’t put her through that. I liked her too much to do that to her. Plus, why would I want to bring more suffering on myself. I used the same trick with Dominic that I used with Travis. I tried to keep quiet and unseen. Why bring myself to his attention? And more importantly, why drag Carly down with me?
    Carly got quiet after that. I hoped I hadn’t made her mad at me. I wanted to tell her why I didn’t ask her. But she’d probably just try to tell me that I was being silly.
    I didn’t pressure her. I let her remain silent until I couldn’t take it anymore.
    While we walked to the cafeteria, I tried to cheer her up.
    “What do snowmen eat for breakfast?”
    I glanced at her and saw her smile. “I don’t know. What?”
    “Snowflakes.”
    She laughed. It was a beautiful sound.
    “Brian, you’re funny. I just wish you would laugh with me. But you will. Just wait and see.” She smiled and ran off to catch up with her friends.
    I watched her, and wanted more than anything to have the guts to ask her to the dance. I imagined her all dressed up. She would be gorgeous. I imagined walking into the gymnasium with her, holding her hand and looking at the decorations. I imagined asking her to dance and walking her onto the floor. The thought of dancing close to her made me blush.
    But as I sat alone eating my lunch, I realized it would never be more than that; just my imagination.
    I didn’t have anything to wear to a dance.
    I didn’t even know how to dance.
    And worse still, I didn’t have the nerve to even ask her.
    As I watched her laughing with