Free Discworld 26 - The Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett

... well, there could be no such thing as bad thoughts
amongst people so enlightened, but it is true that the sight of Lu-Tze ambling insolently
through the temple did tarnish a few karmas. To a certain type of thinker the sweeper was a
personal insult, with his lack of any formal education or official status and his silly little Way
and his incredible successes. So it was surprising that the abbot liked him, because never had
there been an inhabitant of the valley so unlike the sweeper, so learned, so impractical and so
frail. But then, surprise is the nature of the universe.
Lu-Tze nodded to the minor acolytes who opened the big varnished doors.
'How is his reverence today?' he said.
'The teeth are still giving him trouble, O Lu-Tze, but he is maintaining continuity and has just
taken his first steps in a very satisfactory manner.'
     
 
  
'Yes, I thought I heard the gongs.'
The group of monks clustered in the centre of the room stepped aside as Lu-Tze approached
the playpen. It was, unfortunately, necessary. The abbot had never mastered the art of circular
ageing. He had therefore been forced to achieve longevity in a more traditional way, via
serial reincarnation.
'Ah, Sweeper,' he burbled, awkwardly tossing aside a yellow ball and brightening up. 'And
how are the mountains? Wanna bikkit wanna bikkit!'
'I'm definitely getting vulcanism, reverend one. It's very encouraging.'
'And you are in persistent good health?' said the abbot, while his pudgy little hand banged a
wooden giraffe against the bars.
'Yes, your reverence. It's good to see you up and about again.'
'Only for a few steps so far, alas bikkit bikkit wanna bikkit. Unfortunately, young bodies have
a mind of their own BIKKIT!
'You sent me a message, your reverence? It said, “Put this one to the test.”'
'And what did you think of our want bikkit want bikkit want bikkit NOW young Lobsang
Ludd?' An acolyte hurried forward with a plate of rusks. 'Would you care for a rusk, by the
way?' the abbot added. 'Mmmm nicey bikkit!'
'No, reverend one, I have all the teeth I need,' said the sweeper.
'Ludd is a puzzle, is he not? His tutors have nicey bikkit mmm mmm bikkit told me he is very
talented but somehow not all there. But you have never met him and don't know his history
and so mmm bikkit and so I would value your uninfluenced observations mmm BIKKIT.'
'He is beyond fast,' said Lu-Tze. 'I think he may begin to react to things before they happen.'
'How can anyone tell that? Want teddy want teddy wanna wanna TEDDY!'
'I put him in front of the Device of Erratic Balls in the senior dojo and he was moving
towards the right hole fractionally before the ball came out.'
'Some kind of gurgle telepathy, then?'
'If a simple machine has a mind of its own I think we're in really big trouble,' said Lu-Tze. He
took a deep breath. 'And in the hall of the Mandala he saw the patterns in the chaos.'
'You let a neophyte see the Mandala?' said chief acolyte Rinpo, horrified.
'If you want to see if someone can swim, push him in the river,' said Lu-Tze, shrugging.
'What other way is there?'
'But to look at it without the proper training-'
    Discworld 26 - The Thief of Time
    Discworld 26 - The Thief of Time
     
 
  
'He saw the patterns,' said Lu-Tze. 'And reacted to the Mandala.' He did not add: and the
Mandala reacted to him. He wanted to think about that. When you look into the abyss, it's not
supposed to wave back.
'It was teddyteddyteddywahwah strictly forbidden, even so,' said the abbot. Clumsily, he
fumbled among the toys on his mat and picked up a large wooden brick with a jolly blue
elephant printed on it and hurled it clumsily at Rinpo. 'Sometimes you presume too much,
Sweeper lookit 'lephant!'
There was some applause from the acolytes at the abbot's prowess in animal recognition. 'He
saw the patterns. He knows what is happening. He just doesn't know what he knows,' said Lu-
Tze doggedly. 'And within a few seconds of meeting