Free Not My Daughter by Barbara Delinsky Page A

nodded.
    "How?" Pam asked in dismay. It was a silly question. Susan's expression must have said as much, because her friend hurried on. "Who?"
    Susan shrugged and shook her head.
    Pam was sitting on the edge of the seat, her cardigan open, a paisley scarf knotted artfully about her neck. "You have to know. You're just not saying."
    "Pam, I don't know."
    "That's impossible. You and Lily are as close as any mother and daughter I know. She must have told you she was sleeping with someone." When Susan shook her head again, Pam said, "How could you not?"
    Susan was duly chastised. She had prided herself on being one better than the parent who didn't notice her Vicodin running low long before it should. It was a humbling experience.
    "There comes a point," she said in her own defense, "when our children choose not to share some things."
    "Some things. This is major . When did you find out?"
    Unable to lie, Susan said, "Last week." It felt like years ago. She kept flashing back to Lily's conception. Even this morning, reliving her own nightmare of going to school on the day after the whole world suddenly knew, she half expected Lily to show up at her door in tears, looking for a shoulder to cry on.
    But either Mary Kate and Jess were walking the halls beside her or Lily was tougher than Susan had been. And perhaps that was for the best. Lily had become pregnant by design-- and in agreement with friends. She had way more to answer for than Susan had.
    Pam Perry didn't know the half of it. Innocently, she exclaimed, "Last week? Omigod, Susan. This is awful . What was she thinking?" When Susan simply gave her a look, she said, "What are you going to do?"
    "I'm trying to figure that out."
    "She's keeping the baby? Of course she is. Lily loves kids, and there's no way you'd make her abort it. So the guy has to come forward," Pam decided. "You have to find out who he is." When Susan said nothing, she added, "Well, some guy made this happen."
    "Obviously," Susan replied, "but does his name matter?"
    "Absolutely."
    "Wrong. It's a woman's body, a woman's baby."
    "You say that because you're a single mom."
    "I say it because I'm a realist," Susan insisted. "Even moms in traditional families do the brunt of the child care. The buck stops here."
    "Some of us see it differently," Pam argued. "The father has to share the responsibility."
    "Maybe in an ideal world," Susan conceded. "You're lucky, Pam. Not only is your husband a gem, but he's from a storied family. Perrys don't divorce, and they don't go broke. But Tanner doesn't change diapers or fold laundry or make school lunches, and that drives you nuts. Remember the time you and Tanner both had the flu? Who was crawling out of bed to take care of Abby?"
    There was more to the story, of course. Pam did all of those things without complaint, though she could certainly afford a maid. But with one child and no other full-time job, these chores helped define her.
    "So, basically, you're having another child yourself," Pam said. "Isn't that the bottom line?"
    Susan considered it, pressed her lips together, nodded.
    "You can't do that," Pam argued. "You know the work. You have a whole other job now that is very demanding."
    "What would you have me do?" Susan asked. Frustrated, she rubbed her forehead with her fingertips. "She wants the baby, Pam. She's heard the heartbeat. She knows the options. She wants the baby."
    "And you'll just let her have it?"
    "What can I do? Put yourself in my shoes. This has happened--past tense. It's done. Maybe you can do better and talk with your daughter about not getting pregnant." There it was, the closest Susan could come to disclosing what she knew.
    Pam frowned at the papers on the desk, then at Susan. "This is what you three were talking about at the barn last week. You told them. Why couldn't you tell me?"
    Susan felt another stab of anger. At Lily for getting pregnant? At Abby for outing her? At Pam for playing the victim? "They already knew," she explained.