Free Her Dakota Man (Book 1 - Dakota Hearts) by Lisa Mondello Page B

When you got together with Kelly, that all changed. You hold yourself back. Sometimes I wonder what’s driving you to stay there.”
    “I grew up.”
    “That’s a lousy excuse and you know it.”
    Irritation coiled in him. “I have a family and responsibilities.”
    “Yeah, but you also have a life. You can enjoy it once in a while and still be responsible. Let’s face it, you stopped living long before Kelly died, bro.”
    “What’s that supposed to mean?”
    Hawk hesitated and seemed to look around the corner to see if their mother was watching, just like he’d done a hundred times when they were kids and getting ready for a prank. Except this time there was no prank, just straight talk.
    “Everybody, including me, was shocked as hell when you came home and said you were marrying Kelly. Don’t get me wrong. I loved Kelly like she was my sister. But after the miscarriage…well, I half expected the two of you to split before the year was over.”
    He threw his napkin on the table. “We didn’t. We had Keith.”
    “I know. After three years of fertility treatments. But from where I was sitting Keith was pretty much the only thing you two had in common.”
    “Keith is the best thing in my life.”
    “He’s the only life I’ve seen in you in years. Truth be known, I hadn’t thought much about it for a long time until I saw you with Poppy the other night. Since then I’ve been wondering if you and Kelly would have gotten together at all if Poppy hadn’t left Rudolph.”
    Logan’s jaw tightened. “Poppy made her choice not to come back.”
    Hawk nodded. “Would it have made a difference if she had?”
    He was silent for a moment. He should have been shocked by Hawk’s direct question, but he wasn’t. Truth was Logan had mulled over that very question many times himself.
    “It doesn’t matter. It’s not what happened. I married Kelly.”
    Hawk leaned forward in his seat, pushing his empty coffee cup to the center of the table. “Kelly was the real deal. She was a good person, a good mother, and a great friend. Thing is, Logan, Kelly is gone. All I’m saying is maybe you settled for something because you couldn’t have the one you really wanted. And that person is here now.” When Logan started to protest, Hawk stopped him. “I know you loved Kelly. And you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, but…were you really happy with her? Were you really in love with her?”
    “Of course.”
    “Are you sure? I’ve known you all my life and you’re one of the most honorable men I know. But there was something always missing and I haven’t seen it in you since Poppy left.” He hesitated a minute. “And as ticked off as you say you are that Poppy is here, I saw it again that day at the ranch when I saw you looking at her.”
    # # #

CHAPTER FIVE
    The drive back home was filled with haunting memories Logan hadn’t wanted to remember for years. He’d made mistakes for sure. But had it really been as Hawk said? He had loved Kelly, come to love her, but their love had never been a passionate kind of love he imagined people could have. It was comfortable. Steady. But was he happy?
    That was a hard question to answer and he fought to find closure with it as he pulled into the driveway and parked the truck next to Poppy’s rental car.
    He couldn’t face her. There were too many demons in him that he was afraid of what he’d say. Kissing her last night on the porch had been as intense as it had been all those years ago. He could still taste her, feel her softness against him. And he suddenly couldn’t remember the last time he’d kissed Kelly that way, if he ever had at all.
    The thought of what he’d deprived his wife of made Logan sick to his stomach. How could he have been that kind of man to saddle Kelly with a husband who didn’t love her wholly, the way she should have been loved?
    He climbed out of the truck and decided to walk to the pond on the far side of the property, letting