Free Almost Broken by Portia Moore

doesn’t break me . That’s the difference between us. If I fuck five guys tonight, and they don’t call me, I don’t give a flying fuck. I won’t shut down. It won’t immobilize me. If this goes wrong, can you say the same thing?” She walks to my door and turns around before she leaves.
    “And FYI, what I tell you is because I care. Because you’re my best friend, not to be a bitch to you when you’re saying something I don’t want to hear,” she says quietly before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. I sit down on my bed and look at the missed call. The text alert goes off again, it’s Chris. I suddenly don’t feel as excited as I was to get a text message.
     

Chris
     
    She hasn’t responded. She didn’t pick up her phone when I called either. She always responds right away whenever I text her. Usually it’s asking about Caylen, or to see if our Skype time is okay. This was different though. This time I wanted to talk to her. We haven’t really talked these past two weeks since they’ve been gone. Well when we Skype, we talk, but it’s pretty much about Caylen. Still, I watch her, how she is with Caylen, how much she loves her. I notice the way she smiles, how her hair falls in her face, the little giggle she does. Even though she’s usually wearing just a pony tail, and in sweats or a t-shirt, she’s beautiful.
    I try to push thoughts like that out of my head. Every time they come, I tell myself how beautiful my fiancée is, how much I love Jenna. I tell myself that this is just curiosity or infatuation with Lauren, and it’s shallow, artificial and could ruin everything if it gets misinterpreted—if I misinterpret it.
    I remind myself of that line that’s between me and Lauren. The one that’s there for a reason. That still didn’t stop me from texting her even when I knew Caylen was asleep. Or calling her to hear her voice I don’t know why or where this is coming from, but I know it needs to stop.
    I’m supposed to see Jenna tomorrow for the first time since all of this happened. She stayed in Lansing for school. She’s coming up for the weekend. She sent me a text me and wants to meet once she gets back tomorrow. I hope seeing her will clear my head of all this confusion and get me back on track.
    Lauren hasn’t called me back. I know there’s a plenty of reasons as to why. Maybe she fell asleep, or Caylen woke up, or she just doesn’t want to talk to me. I should call her again, just to make sure she’s okay. I stand up and let out a deep breath. I shouldn’t call her. We have nothing to talk about if it’s not about Caylen.
    But really, we have everything to talk about since we really don’t know anything about each other. As parents, we should get to know each other. We should be friends. Being my daughter’s mom’s friend is okay, perfectly acceptable.
    Yup, I’m calling.
    I hit her name in my phone and hear the ringing tone again. It rings about four times, and I’m about to hang up when it stops.
    “Hey.” Her voice is little above a whisper and flat. She sounds tired or sad, not what I was expecting from the tone of our last text.
    “Is everything okay?” I ask concerned.
    “Yeah, everything’s fine” she says, letting out a small sigh.
    “Chinese food not turning your stomach is it?” I decide to joke, and she lets out a laugh. It makes me smile.
    “I hate to tell you, but my stomach is the most satisfied part on me,” she kids back. She’s funny .
    “Caylen tire you out?” I ask, feeling a little more relaxed since she seems to be in better spirits. I sit down on my bed and rest my elbow on my knee.
    “Not really. My aunt Raven’s here today. I was able to get a little R&R,” she says, and I can tell from her tone that something’s bothering her.
    “Then what’s wrong?” I ask her, and she’s quiet.
    “What makes you think something’s wrong?” she asks after a second, and I shrug even though she can’t see it.
    “It doesn’t