share some milk and some of those “breakfast of champions”. I was in the hallway almost all the way to the cafeteria when I heard them. Cade was talking to someone. I couldn’t tell who it was, because they weren’t saying much. Cade was doing all the talking.
“It was all a fuckin’ mistake.” I wasn’t sure I heard him right, so I got a little bit closer. “She’s like kissin’ my sister. I never should’ve kissed her. I never should’ve let it go that far. She was definitely not the chick I wanted to be screwin’ that night. I don’t know what the hell I’ll do today. I don’t even wanna see her face. I need ya to help me stay the hell away from her.”
It was like I had been punched in the gut. “Like kissing his sister? “Never should’ve kissed her?” How could he say that? It was the most amazing night of my life and he wished it had never happened?
I couldn’t be at school today. I couldn’t be near him. I made it to my car before I started sobbing. I held my face in my hands as his words kept running through my mind. How could he feel that way about me? After what we did? What he did to me. He was inside me and now he didn’t even want to see me?
The drive home seemed like it took forever. I don’t remember anything I saw on the way home, but apparently I didn’t kill anyone because I made it home in one piece.
“Suzanna? What are you doing back home?” My mom asked as she walked downstairs toward me.
“I’m not feeling good, Mom. Could you call the school and tell them I’m sick?” I was really hoping she would just say yes and drop it. I should’ve known better.
“No. Not until you tell me what the heck is going on. You were fine when you left the house this morning, right?” She asked in her normal snarky tone.
“I think I’ve got a bug or something. I just want to go to sleep.” I tried to start up the stairs, but she caught my arm and stopped me.
“I’m not stupid, Suzanna. Your face is beet red and your eyes look like they ain’t ever seen the light of day. I know you’ve been bawling your eyes out, now tell me why.” My mom actually looked like she cared. I almost believed she was being sincere.
“Oh my God, Mom, I’m fine. Don’t be so dramatic. I got sick when I got to school and I just want to go to sleep. Please, just let me go up to my room.” I pulled away from her hold and started back up the stairs. This time she didn’t stop me.
When I got to my room I shut the door and threw myself down in the middle of my bed. I had given everything to Cade. I thought after that night that he knew how I felt and I was stupid enough to think he felt the same way. What made me think that? It was just sex. It probably wasn’t even his first time. I was a joke. He was just humoring me. That thought made me sick. I ran to the bathroom and dry heaved in the toilet until I finally just laid down on the cold tile floor and cried myself to sleep.
“Suzanna?” My mom was knocking on the door. I opened my eyes and the room was pitch black. She pushed the door open and stepped in. “Cade is downstairs. I don’t know what the hell happened to you today, but I think it would be good for you to talk to someone. Since, that obviously won’t be me, you should talk to him. He’s your friend, right?” He was. He was my best friend until everything changed.
I didn’t even look at her. Some time ago I had got up and crawled into bed. I turned over and rolled myself up into my comforter. I buried my face in my pillow. My voice sounded muffled as I replied, “He is my friend, but I don’t feel like talking to him. Tell him I’ll see him at school tomorrow.”
“But, Su…”
I cut her off, “Please, Mom. Just give him the message.” I heard the door close and her footsteps going down the stairs.
Seeing him would not help the situation. If anything it would make it worse. I loved him and he didn’t feel the same. That was just something I was going to have to
Christine Zolendz, Frankie Sutton, Okaycreations