Free It's Now or Never by Jill Steeples Page A

Only trying to forget about Alex wasn’t nearly as easy as forgetting about Marcia.
    Alex laughed, breaking the tension, holding up his hand to stop me.
    â€˜You don’t need to explain.’ He stirred his spoon around in his mug, tracing a trail through the creamy topping on his coffee, an action that was surprisingly distracting in its sensuousness. ‘I think Arthur would have been pleased with his send-off today, don’t you?’
    â€˜Oh yes, it was a wonderful tribute.’
    Alex was thoughtful for a moment.
    â€˜Funerals always make you consider your own mortality, and that of your family and friends, don’t they? I mean, we’re all going that direction one day.’
    â€˜I know.’ I shrugged. ‘Must admit I couldn’t help thinking about my mum and nan back there. It’s the hymns, they always touch me deep down inside.’
    â€˜Oh, I’m sorry,’ said Alex, reaching over for my hand, his fingers interlocking with mine, genuine concern in his eyes. ‘I didn’t realise you’d lost your mum.’
    â€˜Yeah, it was about eight years ago now and then my nan died a couple of years later. It was a difficult time, but in the end you just have to move on with your life. Somehow. You never do forget those people who’ve played such an important part in your life though.’
    It was what everyone had told me at the time when I said I wasn’t sure how I would ever get by without my mum at my side. I didn’t believe them then when they told me I would. That I had to. That it was what Mum would have wanted. It was only now I was really beginning to appreciate that.
    â€˜Of course. Puts everything into perspective, doesn’t it? And makes you realise that all those clichés spouted about life being too short are absolutely true. We definitely need to be making the most of the time we have here as none of us know how long we’ve got.’
    I looked across at Alex. He still had his hand on mine, but it didn’t feel awkward in any way. It felt perfectly natural, and a huge comfort too.
    â€˜Hopefully a little longer for both of us,’ I said, with a wry smile. ‘Enough time at least for me to finish my cake.’ I dug my fork into the smooth mousse centre of the coffee and walnut slice and popped its gooey deliciousness into my mouth.
    Alex looked at me indulgently. We were definitely bonding over the shared delights of the cake.
    â€˜If I died today, I’m not sure how many people would turn up for my funeral.’ He tilted his chin upwards and narrowed his eyes, as though calculating the potential guests. ‘Maybe sixty if I was lucky. There must have been about three hundred at Arthur’s service. A reflection on what a great man he was and what a full and varied life he led.’
    â€˜Yes.’ I screwed up my face to do the same calculation. ‘Well, if it’s any consolation I think there might only be about thirty people at my funeral so you’re way ahead of me in the popularity stakes.’
    Actually, it was a pretty depressing thought now he came to mention it.
    â€˜You know what we should do.’ He lifted my hand in his, a big smile on his face. ‘Start planning for our own funerals now. Widen our social circles, get more involved in the community, have a huge extended family, just so as we can be guaranteed a good turnout at our funerals.’
    I laughed.
    â€˜Why are we even talking about this?’ I asked, laughing. I really didn’t want to be thinking that far ahead. Looking to a future only six months or a year ahead was scary enough. I snatched my hand away from his, my fingers tingled from his touch.
    He sat back in his seat, his eyes shining with mischievous intent.
    â€˜It is good to see you though, Jen. First a wedding and now a funeral, we seem to be making a habit of meeting at these big life-event occasions. Maybe next time we should do something a bit