“Maybe you just
didn’t notice it before?”
The
vivid beauty of the sunset began fading as Cindy turned back to look at the
sky. The colors had only been at their peak for a few moments, thought Cindy, a
last gift before darkness set in for the night.
“I
thought we’d go into town to L’Crasil Club tonight, for dinner, drinks and a
show,” Mattheus suggested.
L’Crasil
Club was a well-known, noisy hot spot with great food, jazz and a show that
started late.
“What
time does the show start?” asked Cindy.
“Why?”
asked Mattheus. “Are we punching a time clock here?”
“I
want to get up early,” Cindy responded, “and I need to be well rested.”
“Why?”
he asked again, his mouth drawing at the edges. “You’ve got plans for the
morning?”
Mattheus
was giving her a hard time and Cindy knew it. He was testing her to see what
was more important, him or the case. Cindy didn’t take well to being tested, or
to feeling torn between two conflicting needs. If it was inevitable, that was
one thing. But there was no need for it now.
“Do
you really want to know why I have to be up early?” Cindy asked, petulantly.
“No,
actually I don’t really want to know,” Mattheus responded. “Not if it has
anything to do with the case.”
“So,
if you don’t want to know, don’t ask me!” Cindy’s temper flared.
“On
the other hand,” Mattheus went on more pointedly, “as we are here together, I
do need to know what it is you have in mind for the day, for the trip, for our
lives. You said you missed me when you saw me. What exactly does that mean?”
None
of this sat well with Cindy. “You’re making a mountain out of a molehill,” she
insisted.
“Are
you looking for a fight? Are you trying to find a way to spoil our happiness?”
“Are
you?” he shot back.
The
two of them looked at each other, annoyed and helpless. Cindy took a few steps
away. She’d heard that engagements were always difficult times; all kinds of
issues came up to be worked through before the final commitment was made. But
Cindy definitely thought that she and Mattheus had worked through most of their
differences already. They’d been harmonious about most things. But, she
suddenly realized, most of their time together had been spent working as
partners on cases. They really matched beautifully then. This trip was
different, though, it was supposed to be just about them. Mattheus wasn’t
handling the change in focus well. He wasn’t accepting the fact that Cindy had
decided to spend a few days on the case. It seemed to be all or nothing for
him. Was that how it would be when they were married? Cindy felt confused.
“Sometimes
people do great as working partners,” she mused out loud. “And not as well when
they’re just a couple, living a plain life.”
Mattheus
zeroed in on that. “What are you telling me, now? Are you saying we can’t
function as just a couple? What’s wrong with living a plain life?”
“I
didn’t say that.” Cindy felt the need to defend herself now. “I’m just looking
at the big picture.”
“We’re
not talking about the big picture, though, are we? We’re talking about our time
together right here.”
“What’s
wrong with you, Mattheus? What’s going on? What are you really so upset about?”
Cindy felt blindsided.
“I’m
disappointed,” he exclaimed. “That’s allowed, isn’t it?”
“You’re
allowed to feel whatever you feel,” Cindy answered, disturbed.
“I
thought we both wanted this time just to ourselves together. I thought we’d
earned it and that this incredibly romantic getaway would give us both
something we needed badly.”
“What?”
Cindy whispered.
“Complete
trust in each other”—Mattheus’s voice lowered—“and an incredible way to start
our future together.”
“I
have complete trust in you,” Cindy murmured. “I didn’t need this vacation to
give me that. You need it though? You don’t trust me,