completely?”
“That’s
not what I’m saying.” Mattheus grimaced. “You’re twisting my words and my
meaning around.”
“So,
tell me what you’re saying,” Cindy demanded.
“I’m
saying I don’t like having you choose the needs of other people over mine,” he
responded.
“You
mean Shari’s father?” asked Cindy.
“Whomever,”
said Mattheus. “When we’re a couple, each of our needs has to come first. If I
say I don’t want to go on a case, respect that.”
“I
do respect it,” Cindy replied. “But does that mean I have to follow suit? What
about my needs in this matter? I need to spend a couple of days helping out.
Someone just died. It’s an emergency.”
“Everything
in life can turn into an emergency,” Mattheus quipped, “especially when you’re
a private detective. But you’ve got to know when to turn it off, Cindy. I can turn
it off and it looks like you can’t.”
Cindy’s
eyes filled with tears that stung badly.
“You’re
addicted,” Mattheus whispered harshly. “This stuff can become like a drug, you
can’t go a long time without it. You need the next case, are secretly panting for
it. I’ve seen that happen to plenty of cops.”
“Hold
on, there!” Cindy stood up taller. “I’m not one of these cops you’ve seen over
the years, and I don’t like being told I’m addicted. I’m doing a job I’ve sworn
to do. My sister just died, and I helped then too. If a terrible situation
appears in front of my eyes, I’m not blocking it out and hunting for wedding
venues. I’m jumping in. It’s who I am. The wedding venues can wait.”
“But
I can’t,” said Mattheus.
Cindy
felt her whole body go cold. “What are you telling me?” she asked directly.
“I
can’t wait anymore to feel like I’ve got someone who makes me first in their
life,” Mattheus mumbled. “I can’t sit here and hope and wonder.”
Cindy
felt as if she’d been punched in her stomach. “You don’t feel like I make you
first in my life?” she echoed. “You have to sit and wonder about it?”
“Right
now I do,” he said bluntly.
“I
don’t know how to answer that, Mattheus.” Cindy could barely speak. “I have no
idea what to say.”
“Tell
me you’ll put this case down right now, and come back with me on vacation,” he
said.
Cindy
felt hot tears falling down her face. “I wish I could, I really wish,” she
whispered, “but I can’t stop now, Mattheus. There’s reason to think the suicide
note was forged. And there’s a killer loose in Aruba. Two young women were
killed a few months ago. I have to go down to Amaneuten Cove in the morning.”
“Go
down to the headquarters for drug dealers by yourself?” Mattheus was horrified.
“Is that what you were planning to do during our engagement celebration?”
“A
killer is loose, anyone else could be his next victim,” Cindy breathed. “How
would you like it if he was holed up near your daughter?”
“Leave
my daughter out of this.” Mattheus’s face flushed. “I left her and her mother
completely for you, remember?”
“Left
them for me?” Cindy was astonished. “You met me long before you ever saw them
again. I was the one who made you find your daughter.”
“That’s
right, you were,” Mattheus exclaimed. “And despite her begging me to stay, I
made my choice. I left her for you.”
Cindy’s
body started to shake. She had no idea what to make of this. “Is that bothering
you, Mattheus?” she said finally. “Are you feeling guilty about it? Do you want
to go back to your daughter and her mother and give your daughter the family
she never had? Is that why you’re making such a big deal about my taking a
couple of days to investigate?”
At
that Mattheus turned on his heel and walked off the balcony and out of the
suite.
Cindy
heard the door slam behind him, as she put her face in her hands and sobbed.
*
After
Mattheus left, Cindy curled up on the sofa, called down for a pot of tea