Free The Do's and Don'ts of Entering a Relationship by Stephen Robinson

Finding that special someone
     
    Ok this section isn’t going to be long, firstly because it’s not always the best idea to be searching to find a special someone and secondly the actual dating process is a whole different book. But what I would like to say is that there’s no harm in being picky. Knowing what you want is one of the most important things to entering a successful relationship, or any other venture you face in life. It’s knowing what you want that keeps you striving to achieve your best and not settling for second best. If you want someone rich, someone with black hair, someone who makes you laugh then don’t stop until you have that. Fortunately love doesn’t tend to happen when someone meets a certain criteria that we set, it usually happens when someone fills us with positive emotions and we become addicted to that feeling. Be picky, but don’t be logical. Logic has no place in actual romance and never will do. You hear countless love stories where the poor, ugly nice guy eventually gets the girl, or the girl who’s just looking for a sensible man keeps falling in love with the bad boys. This is because our emotions over-ride any logical thoughts we have when it comes to falling for someone.
    Another reason I don’t advise searching for that special someone is because coming from the mentality that you want to find love puts you in a vulnerable place. You will be more likely to let your guard down when you meet someone who could potentially be someone you like, and you will let yourself fall for someone that normally you wouldn’t fall for. Let’s look at a ‘hypothetical’ scenario. There are two boys that have grown up together (could just as well be girls) and they have been friends all their lives. They grew up playing together on the street, riding their bicycles and pulling pranks on other kids. As they start to get older they start to feel attraction for other people and start to act on this. Now one boy falls in love with the first girl that he has any romantic connection with. He has that ideal teenage relationship that you see in the movies, and it ends up lasting the rest of his life. This is great, and extremely romantic. Let’s see what happened to his friend. His friend ended up getting into a few romantic connections with various girls. He decided that whilst he is young he doesn’t want a committed relationship in case it holds him back in life before he achieves all of his goals. OK this isn’t really very romantic, and a few readers will be thinking “playaaa” but that’s not quite the picture I’m trying to paint. Let’s say he hasn’t had any one night stands, he takes his time to get to know girls and he’s very honest about not wanting relationships with them. Then whilst he is living his life, meeting girls and having fun he finds himself extremely confused. There’s a girl he’s seeing that has really captured his heart. He just can’t stop thinking about her and she’s exactly what he would want if he wanted to settle down with someone. He knows this because he has experienced many romantic connections with various girls so he knows the things he likes in a girl and the things he doesn’t like.
    Anyway he pushes these feelings into the back of his mind because he still feels that he’s young and doesn’t want a relationship. But the feelings persist. He keeps seeing the girl and starts to become overwhelmed by the feelings he has for her. He still feels like he doesn’t want a relationship but the feelings he has are so strong that he’s starting to change his mind. Eventually the feelings become that strong that they change what he has believed all of his life, and he decides to enter a committed relationship with this girl because she is exactly what he wants in a girl and the feelings he has for her are so intense.
     
    Now I’ll let you be the judge of which path was more romantic, but which path do you think will lead to the more stable, secure