Free Breaking Free by Alexis Noelle

want to face the accusations and interrogations that I know are coming. I’ve just been lying up here, being a glutton for punishment, and reading all of the stories on the internet about Drew and me.
    Every single website is slamming him and making it seem like I was his victim. Drew Walker is no angel, but he is not the person that they are making him out to be. Did he destroy me in only a couple days? Yes. Was it anything that I didn’t ask for? No.
    My door opens and Carter walks in. I’m not in the mood for this right now. I already feel like shit and I don’t want him sitting here giving me the ‘I told you so’ talk. “Can we talk about all of this?”
    I look up at him. “Do we have to?”
    “Just tell me what’s going on, Holly. Is everything they are saying true? The stories are everywhere online, on TV, even Dad called about it.” Carter looks frustrated and I understand why. However, there’s no explanation I can give him that will make him happy at this point.
    “He never touched me in a way that I didn’t ask for.”
    “What the hell is that supposed to mean?!”
    “Carter, why don’t you go downstairs.” I looked past Carter to see Nicole and Christen.
    He throws his hands up in defeat. “Fine, maybe you can get through her hard head!”
    The girls come in and sit next to me on the bed. Nicole looked at me in her usual no nonsense kind of way. “Spill, and none of this stupid ass vague shit. We don’t give a crap about these assholes outside, girl, but we do care about you . Now, you need to start talking.”
    I glare at her but she gives it right back to me. Nicole is a pit bull when she needs to be and I can tell that she isn’t going to back down. I sit up and scoot to the head of the bed, resting my back and head against the wall. “I don’t know what to say.”
    Nicole lets out a sigh of exasperation. “You can start with what happened the past couple days, especially with the pictures and shit from yesterday. If you want to share some dirty details, too, I wouldn’t object.”
    Christen elbows her in the side. “You’re such an idiot. Holly, listen, we just want to understand. We aren’t going to judge you.”
    I took a deep breath, wondering if it will help me at all to talk to someone about it. Even if it won’t help me, it will make them feel better. Here goes nothing. “When I went to the bathroom before the show, I ran into Drew. It was an…unusual exchange.” I tell them everything that happened after that, but I leave out a lot of the sex, much to Nicole’s disappointment. “So, I walked away from him. He chased after me and we got into an argument as I was getting into the cab. That’s what the cameras caught.”
    They both just stared at me until Christen finally broke the silence. “Why don’t you call him?”
    “Why, Chris? Nothing has changed. I’m not ready to be anything close to what he wants, and he’s too damn pig headed to compromise.” I’ve thought about calling him or texting him every minute since I walked away from him. He has this hold on me that I just can’t fucking shake.
    “Holls, listen, I haven’t seen you as happy as you were in the few seconds I saw you with him. He’s been able to bring the old you back and I’ve missed her.”
    A tear rolls down my cheek because I know that what Christen is saying to me is completely true. Drew made me feel like myself. I wasn’t in the suffocating prison I had been in the past few months. I was free. I was happy.
    Nicole scoots over closer to me like she’s about to give me a hug, but I get up from the bed. “You haven’t told us everything. What the fuck is up with you acting like we all have cooties all of a sudden?”
    Christen doesn’t say anything; she seems to be waiting for my response the same way Nicole is. I can’t tell them, though, they will all think that I’ve gone friggin’ crazy. I don’t need that. Besides, the only thing that me telling them would get me is pity,