Free Unlovely by Carol Walsh Greer Page A

she was with Fulko .
    Claudia couldn't get her mind off those
notes, and she began to wonder if Melanie really shared all of the ones she
received from Fulko , or if she were keeping some of
them to herself. Naturally, Melanie had a perfect right to keep them private,
but still, it seemed wrong. It just did. It was another sign of her pulling
away. And it was a particularly galling thing to do after all that Claudia had
been to her: Melanie's only true companion when no one else would even get near
to her. Didn't Claudia have some right to know what was going on in her
friend's life? They were like sisters. They were family. It was her obligation
to know.
    It was a constant torment. Whenever
Melanie ran to Claudia clutching a new poem, or sat quietly in her bedroom
composing a verse of her own for Jim, Claudia felt a twinge of fear. She was
losing Melanie. She knew it.
    She had to get a look at the letters.
Not all of them, of course, just a few. Just to reassure herself that this was
still a stupid, silly romance between Melanie and Fulko and that they weren't shutting her out, planning a life together that would
exclude Claudia. In fact, Claudia kept telling herself, that was probably what
she would discover: a glance at the notes would confirm that she was blowing
everything out of proportion. And once she knew that, she could calm down and
not worry so much anymore.
    But how to do it? She could go to Melanie's
house and take a couple of Fulko's notes out of her
keepsake box, but it was risky. Melanie was the sort of girl who would lock her
bedroom door every night and spread the papers over her bedspread as visual
evidence of her romance, and then read them in order from start to finish. She
would notice if one of them was missing.
    Claudia would have to rely on Jim Fulko's being somewhat less romantic, less likely to finger
through the notes every evening. It wouldn't be all that hard to get into the
middle drawer of his desk. It was just a matter of waiting for the right
opportunity.
     
    A few days later, fortune smiled upon her. Claudia had
just stopped to ask Mr. Fulko a question after
dismissal, when one of the administrators dropped by from the office, fuming
about a discrepancy in the attendance forms. Mr. Fulko was obliged to excuse himself to address the problem, leaving Claudia alone at
his desk. Claudia quickly opened the drawer, took two notes from the bottom of
the pile and slipped them into her book. When Mr. Fulko returned, he found his student patiently waiting for him. He answered Claudia's
question and she left.
    That afternoon, in the privacy of her
bedroom, Claudia finally pulled the notes out of her textbook. She'd been
sorely tempted to read them at school, but she'd decided that she would need to
have privacy and time to think. A bathroom stall was not the appropriate
atmosphere.
    Claudia unfolded the first note. It was
on a piece of paper ripped from a notebook, written in blue ink in Melanie's
familiar, loopy handwriting. It was undated of course, so she had no idea when
it was written.
    I'm feeling much better. Lisa took me to
the clinic on campus and I'm fine. Really. Don't worry and stop feeling guilty.
The whole thing was as much my fault as yours, probably more mine. Anyway, it
all worked out.
    When will I see you? Will you pick me up
at the usual place? I can be there around six. If that's okay with you, change
the calendar on your door before 7 th period so I can see it when I
walk by.
    You know I love you. I know you love me.
Nothing else really matters.
    Mellie
    Well, that was interesting. Claudia was
nauseated by the idea of a grown man sending love messages via a day calendar
to a high school student, but that was beside the point. Melanie had been ill,
apparently, and had shared nothing of it with Claudia. Ill enough to need a
visit to the campus infirmary, but not so ill that she'd told her mom and dad
or missed any school or seen her regular doctor. Claudia didn't want to jump to
the