Free Unlovely by Carol Walsh Greer Page B

obvious conclusion, but the part about feeling guilty encouraged her to.
Claudia reread that section, then rolled her eyes with derision: stop
feeling guilty . Good grief. Fulko should be used
to feeling guilty by now. He was sleeping with a student, for Pete's sake.
    Claudia unfolded the second note, this
one scribbled in pencil on the back of a page of Spanish homework.
    I don't think we have anything to worry
about anymore. All of a sudden I got cramps and started bleeding. Mom noticed so
I told her I was having a really heavy period. She was worried at first, but I
told her it wasn't that bad and she left me alone. I can't tell you how
relieved I am – I'm sure you are, too. I know you were right and everything
would have worked out, but it's better that this
happened. I'm sure it is. I'm sad, though. I don't know. I've been crying a
lot. Hormones, I guess. I must see you later. Let me know when.
    Claudia put the note down on her bed and
sat there staring at it. Assuming the second note predated the first, there was
no question: Melanie had been pregnant and had lost the baby. Pregnant. Oh,
this was bad.
    Claudia worked out the chronology. The
miscarriage must have occurred fairly early in the pregnancy, but far enough
along to necessitate a once-over at the campus clinic. Fulko , that jackass, hadn't even had the guts to take
her to a doctor himself.
    Well, of course not, unless he wanted to
go to lose his job. Ugh. What a mess.
    Claudia was heartbroken for Melanie,
naturally, but even more than that, she was outraged by the betrayal. Why on
earth hadn't Melanie shared this with her? Obviously she was under terrible
stress and not thinking straight. But of all the pieces of news to withhold
from your only real friend! Claudia certainly had far more right to this
information than Melanie's pathetic cousin. Why hadn't she confided in her?
    If Claudia had known what was going on,
she would have gotten Melanie to a doctor right away. She would have listened
to her and comforted her. What kind of birth control was Melanie using, anyway?
The last Claudia had heard, Melanie was on the Pill. You don't get pregnant on
the Pill, do you? What was that girl thinking? They were going to have to have
a long talk about this.
    But wait. She couldn't just bring up
birth control out of the blue. She wasn't supposed to know any of this, or to
even notice that anything had changed in the way Melanie had been conducting
her life lately. Claudia realized that she'd put herself in a difficult
position.
    She felt a rush of guilt. Maybe she
shouldn't know any of this. Maybe taking these notes had been wrong, plain and
simple. Had she just crossed a line? There was a reason Melanie had kept it all
secret.
    Perhaps she should go to Melanie and
make a full confession, show her the notes, apologize and ask her why she'd
been so secretive. Claudia imagined the scene, imagined the shocked
disappointment on Melanie's face and realized she couldn't do it. No. Never.
Melanie might hate Claudia forever, and Claudia couldn't handle that. She
couldn't be alone, a faithless ex-friend. No. Melanie must never know that
Claudia had read her private correspondence.
    So what should she do with these notes?
Throw them out? Certainly not. They weren't hers to throw away. Should Claudia
try to get the notes back into Fulko's drawer?
Perhaps. It probably wouldn't be that hard to do. Fulko likely hadn't even missed them. They could be returned and no one would be the
wiser. That was an option.
    But what if he had noticed? What if Fulko already realized the letters were missing? What then?
He would wonder who had them. He would realize it couldn't be Melanie, because
she'd have no reason to take them. If they had been plucked by someone from the
administration or a do-gooder on the faculty who had heard rumors of unethical
behavior, the whole pile would be gone, right? Not just two.
    No. Fulko would be going nuts, tearing up his drawer, going through piles of