Free Reluctant Hero: A 9/11 Survivor Speaks Out About That Unthinkable Day, What He's Learned, How He's Struggled, and What No One Should Ever Forget by Michael Benfante Page A
Authors: Michael Benfante
said to stay withthe crowd, which was moving, even if slowly at times, toward the bottom. That was no longer the case. It was no longer clear that it was safer to stay on the stairs. Nothing was obvious now. At this point, no one felt that one direction would definitely get you out. It wasn’t quite every man for himself, but you felt free to find your own way out.
On the 5th floor we saw firemen everywhere. The 5th floor was a custodial area. It was dark and smoky. It reminded me of the original Poseidon Adventure , where the small group of survivors are trying to make their way to the hull of a ship that’s been overturned. That’s exactly what it was like. Broken pipes, hissing smoke. Water on the ground up to our ankles. The hallways were very narrow, lined with equipment lockers. It was so dark that we had to follow the lights affixed to the firemen’s helmets or their fashlights for our next steps, or we would run into things. This was not the predictable terrain of the stairwells, with steps and stairwell platforms. Here John and I had to watch our every step to avoid sharp metal, wires, and exposed pipes. At each obstacle, we had to set the woman down, reposition ourselves, pick her up, and then carry her over debris. It was hard work, but what made it harder was the creeping suspicion that there was no discernible way out of the 5th floor.
The panic ratcheted up even higher. The yelling started again. “Why can’t we get out!” people demanded. “C’mon, let’s go! What’s the problem? Tell us the problem!”
Some broke away from the firemen. I didn’t think that that was a good idea. Keep following the firemen . We set out in another direction with one firemen and the small group of people still following him. We found a doorway off the custodial area where another firemen stood as if he was keeping watch. “Can we get out this way?” the firemen leading the way asked. The one in the doorway said, “No.” John and I held the woman, and I watchedthese two firemen closely. “Why not?” said our firemen. The other firemen just shook his head and waved his hand as if to say, “Don’t ask.” There was no doubt in my mind now: Something had gone terribly wrong.
Looking back, I can only guess the fallout from the South Tower must have made it very dangerous to exit that doorway. Maybe there were bodies there. Who knows?
Now the little voice in my head was screaming: We’ve got to get out of here now. We’re stuck. I am definitely not in control of any of it anymore. We’re not moving. We’re on this dark floor. I have no idea where to turn for a way out. How the hell will the three of us get out of here? I thought, if it came to it, I’d throw her over my shoulder and find some other way out of there.
We reversed course and followed the firemen back toward the very first exit we checked. People shouted their disapproval. “No, no—we already tried that way!” The firemen halted in his tracks. He turned and looked at all of us. We had arrived at that Poseidon Adventure moment where some people left the Reverend and some followed him. We followed. We chose well. We got to the doorway, and he said to us, “It’s OK now. We can get out this way.”
This stairwell was not like the one we had been using. The first thing we noticed was the almost-complete lack of other people. Earlier that could’ve been cause for alarm, but at this point, we saw it as a path with fewer obstacles. What made it different, but worse, was the lack of visibility, which made it almost impossible for us to keep a steady footing.
It was dark, smoky, and very slippery, with water everywhere. The only thing we could see and follow were the fluorescent glow strips on the stairs. That was enough. We flew down the last four flights of stairs to the lobby.
Through the Lobby, Out of the Building,
and Into the Ambulance
Like cave dwellers stepping cautiously into first light, we limped out from the dark stairwell and into
On the 5th floor we saw firemen everywhere. The 5th floor was a custodial area. It was dark and smoky. It reminded me of the original Poseidon Adventure , where the small group of survivors are trying to make their way to the hull of a ship that’s been overturned. That’s exactly what it was like. Broken pipes, hissing smoke. Water on the ground up to our ankles. The hallways were very narrow, lined with equipment lockers. It was so dark that we had to follow the lights affixed to the firemen’s helmets or their fashlights for our next steps, or we would run into things. This was not the predictable terrain of the stairwells, with steps and stairwell platforms. Here John and I had to watch our every step to avoid sharp metal, wires, and exposed pipes. At each obstacle, we had to set the woman down, reposition ourselves, pick her up, and then carry her over debris. It was hard work, but what made it harder was the creeping suspicion that there was no discernible way out of the 5th floor.
The panic ratcheted up even higher. The yelling started again. “Why can’t we get out!” people demanded. “C’mon, let’s go! What’s the problem? Tell us the problem!”
Some broke away from the firemen. I didn’t think that that was a good idea. Keep following the firemen . We set out in another direction with one firemen and the small group of people still following him. We found a doorway off the custodial area where another firemen stood as if he was keeping watch. “Can we get out this way?” the firemen leading the way asked. The one in the doorway said, “No.” John and I held the woman, and I watchedthese two firemen closely. “Why not?” said our firemen. The other firemen just shook his head and waved his hand as if to say, “Don’t ask.” There was no doubt in my mind now: Something had gone terribly wrong.
Looking back, I can only guess the fallout from the South Tower must have made it very dangerous to exit that doorway. Maybe there were bodies there. Who knows?
Now the little voice in my head was screaming: We’ve got to get out of here now. We’re stuck. I am definitely not in control of any of it anymore. We’re not moving. We’re on this dark floor. I have no idea where to turn for a way out. How the hell will the three of us get out of here? I thought, if it came to it, I’d throw her over my shoulder and find some other way out of there.
We reversed course and followed the firemen back toward the very first exit we checked. People shouted their disapproval. “No, no—we already tried that way!” The firemen halted in his tracks. He turned and looked at all of us. We had arrived at that Poseidon Adventure moment where some people left the Reverend and some followed him. We followed. We chose well. We got to the doorway, and he said to us, “It’s OK now. We can get out this way.”
This stairwell was not like the one we had been using. The first thing we noticed was the almost-complete lack of other people. Earlier that could’ve been cause for alarm, but at this point, we saw it as a path with fewer obstacles. What made it different, but worse, was the lack of visibility, which made it almost impossible for us to keep a steady footing.
It was dark, smoky, and very slippery, with water everywhere. The only thing we could see and follow were the fluorescent glow strips on the stairs. That was enough. We flew down the last four flights of stairs to the lobby.
Through the Lobby, Out of the Building,
and Into the Ambulance
Like cave dwellers stepping cautiously into first light, we limped out from the dark stairwell and into
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