Free Cheap & Classy (Hide Your Crazy) by T.A. Hardenbrook

NP Management. Now I could cross getting arrested off my bucket list. Not that I really had one, but maybe I should. These last couple months had been interesting to say the least.
    “I can’t believe you started shouting at the cop , Molly,” Sully, one of the security guards, laughed, shaking his head at my stupidity.
    “Well, they shouldn’t have had you in cuffs.”
    “True, but it was all sorts of comedy when this short, tiny little blonde thing started flailing her arms in the air and yelling profanities at men in uniform.”
    “What can I say? Respecting authority had never been my specialty.” I shrugged, pulling my cell phone out of the plastic bag with the remainder of my belongings. Flipping my phone on, I searched for a taxi company number, letting the seriousness of today’s events finally soak into my mind. There was never enough time in the day to accomplish everything that was required of me. How Stephanie did this day in and out, and having several bands at a time was a mystery that even Scooby’s gang couldn’t solve. All I had to do was play peacekeeper between the opening little punk band and PD, get the boys from point A to point B, herd the cattle every night of the show, and ultimately make sure no one got arrested in the down time. So why in the hell was I having such a hard time keeping up? Political Downfall was drowning me in almost a literal sense. So riddle me this Batman; where in the hell was my lifeguard?
     
     
    The concert had already begun once we got back to the venue. After several cat calls, a couple high fives, and a few jokes later, I was finally backstage looking for Megan. Thank god she didn’t get inv olved with today’s little stunt. Someone had to be responsible and do the actual job we were getting paid to do.
    “Hey there’s our little hooligan,” Brantley called out from down the hallway. Several people around him starte d clapping as I wandered toward them.
    Rolling my eyes to the comment, I faked a slight curtsey, and tried not to crack a smile. Sure, these boys could drive me absolutely insane. Have me questioning all my morals and inner judgment. But at the same time, this was my new dysfunctional family. Drowning or not, I could at least try and tread water. “Yep, I’m a real Bonnie. Just looking for my Clyde.”
    “Well, I had been your Clyde for a while. I’m sure I could fill the vacancy again,” Brantley leaned in and whispered in my ear.
    “You are such a prick,” I commented, shaking my head at his stupid remark. “Do you know where Megan is?”
    “Last time we seen her she was heading backstage with the opening act,” a roadie remarked.
    “Thanks,” I replied, flashing a smile in his direction.
    “Wait, no details on your time in the slammer? Did you become somebody’s bitch? Or better yet, did you take someone on as your bitch?”
    “Fuck off , Brantley.” Flipping the idiot off, I turned to head back down the hall again. “Tell the guys to finish getting ready for me, please?”
    “ What, am I your secretary now?”
    “Well, I thought you were my bitch?” I couldn’t resist a smart-ass grin. Flipping him shit right back was my lifesaver, and I refused to go down without it.
     
    The crowd tonight was absolutely electric. The sheer energy in the room could have lit up the Empire State building ten times over. I honestly forgot how big these guys were getting, but when you could hear the crowd sing back every single word of every single song, you realized the tour you were on would be remembered forever. I was witnessing something amazing as I stood out in the wings, watching the guys tear up the stage.
    “ You doing okay?” Megan asked, leaning in closer to bump shoulders together.
    “Yep, just a seriously long ass day.” I let out a deep sigh and laid my head on her shoulder.
    “Want to get drunk tonight? Maybe get arrested for public intoxication?”
    I snorted and shook my head. “I’m game for the alcohol, but I’ve