Free The Religion War by Scott Adams

it. It had been a hideous day for her, capping a hideous week, but suddenly she felt safe and happy. The feeling lasted the entire ride to the lobby, and several hours more, until she saw her first angry frown coming down the hallway in the other direction. She frowned for the rest of the day.
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HECTOR'S TERRORIST CELL
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    Elector was waiting in his hydrocab. He'd endured a string of taunts from the other hydrocab drivers working in the area. Only suckers waited for a fare to do his business and return. First, it was dead time, and you never knew how long it would be. Sometimes the customer never returned at all. Second, the streets were covered with available hydrocabs, so waiting made no sense at all To the other drivers, this was a sign of someone who either was new to the game or had no backbone. Either way, they found amusement in his idleness.
    The Avatar got in the cab and thanked Hector for waiting. Hector just sighed and nodded. "Destination?" he asked in a low mumble.
    "Take me to your boss," the Avatar said.
    Hector's eyes drilled into the rearview mirror, trying to assess the meaning of this request. The Avatar expected no immediate verbal response. He was looking for confirmation of a pattern he'd seen developing when he first hailed the hydrocab.
    "I don't mean your taxi boss," said the Avatar. "You can stop pretending to be Hector the Mexican who only knows how to say'si.' You work for al-Zee. I would like you to take me to him."
    Hector—actually Ali—reached under the seat and took out a handgun, making sure the Avatar saw it.
    "How do you know this, old man?" Ali asked, no longer hiding an Arabic accent.
    "I assume that al-Zee is monitoring the comings and goings at the major military sites, looking for intelligence.The hydrocabs operate outside the security perimeter, and there are so many of them they draw no attention. And most of the drivers are dark-skinned men, so you wouldn't draw attention."
    "I mean how did you know that I was the one?" Ali said, miffed that his cover was so easily penetrated.
    "You fit the profile—male, mid-thirties, dark skin. And you were the only one who tried to look friendly No hydrocab driver tries to be friendly," said the Avatar.
    Ali smiled at his gaffe. It was only obvious after the Avatar said it.
    "You guessedjust from that?" asked Ali.
    "Well, I should also tell you, in case you plan to stay on this assignment, that even a Mexican who has only been in this country for ten minutes knows how to say 'yes' in English. The 'si senor' business was over the top."
    "I did not say senor," Ali protested.
    "And when you waited for me at GIC, well, that was just plain clumsy terrorism," said the Avatar.
    "Okay, okay. I get the picture. Now you get the picture," said Ali angrily, pointing his gun at the Avatar. "Tell me who you are and why you were at Cruz's headquarters."
    "My name is Avatar. I was revealing al-Zee's war plans to General Cruz."
    "How would you know our war plans?" asked Ali, looking around to make sure passersby didn't see his gun.
    "In the interest of time, if it's not terribly impolite, would it be okay if we skipped this conversation and you took me directly to your nearest torture center?" asked the Avatar.
    "I'm the one with the gun. We'll do what I say we'll do," said Ali.
    "That's not exactly true. By now you've figured out that you can't shoot me here. And the best place to kill me, after torturing me, of course, is wherever you normally do that sort of thing. So we'll be leaving for there I would think."
    Ali paused to let that sink in, while trying to look menacing. There was a compelling logic to what the old man said. "If you try to get out, I'll shoot you, old man," he said, trying to regain control of the situation.
    "Were you listening to any of this conversation?" the Avatar asked with evident amusement.
    Ali huffed and put the gun back under the seat. He stared at the Avatar in the mirror and started the engine.
    "But first I think you