Free Ever Winter by Alexia Purdy

pulled the blankets back on and let the heat warm away the morning chill. She watched as Soap maneuvered easily in the dark to the other side of the bed to lie down next to her, still fully dressed, on top of the sheets. His long hair was loose and fanned out on the pillow. They had lain many nights next to each other this way, whether in silence or talking about things like the past and Soap’s magical adventures. She always coaxed him to chat more about himself, relishing the moments she could just listen to his stories and his soft voice well into the long insomnia-filled nights. As Shade preferred not to talk about herself, Soap was a reliable companion for her. He never ran out of things to say or talk about.
    She wondered if he knew how comforting his presence had been for her during the long evenings at the beach soon after she had been rescued from the Unseelie palace. Even now, it was a soothing balm to her weary soul. She cinched closer to him, laying her head in the crook of his shoulder as he lifted his arm to let her closer. Laying her cheek against his chest, the beating of his heart was a soft rhythm in the silence of night.
    “So talk.”
    “Are you okay?”
    “If you call surviving a darkling mark with only three days to live and no magical powers in sight okay, then, yeah, sure,” she huffed. Letting out a deep breath she closed her eyes again. Fatigue was a constant companion. It made her wonder if she would’ve felt so tired if she was merely a human with ordinary cares in the world and homework up the wazoo to do. Something told her it would’ve been a different kind of fatigue, not quite like this. It wasn’t that she thought so much would be so much better if she wasn’t part faerie, it’s that she was afraid to think that she was right in thinking it.
    “Yeah, that can put damper on the party, right?” He squeezed her and kissed the top of her head. He smelled similar to Dylan, and it had her wondering if all the Teleen had this specific scent. It was a slight pine-filled, smoky aroma which reminded Shade of camping in the forest as a kid.  Mulch and falling leaves everywhere, like rain from the sky, littered her memory.
    “Look, it’s going to be freezing cold in the Ice kingdom. I brought you a nice coat to wear while you’re out there. When we get up, I’ll show you.” His statement jolted her out of her sleepiness.
    “Wait, what do you mean when I go there? Aren’t you coming?” She cranked her head to stare at the Teleen changeling. His brilliant, green gem eyes glowed in the soft glow of the early dawn’s light. He smiled slightly as he shook his head. Disappointment filled his eyes.
    “No, I’m not going this time, Shade.”
    “But, why?” No amount of glaring made him budge. He just reached up and stroked her messy brown hair as he studied every line of her face.
    “Because, I think it’s time to evaluate what you really want. I know it isn’t me. I’ve known for a long time, Shade.” His fingers tickled the skin of her face as they made their way to her neck and twirled a thin strand around his fingers.
    “What? How can you say that?” Shade gulped, knowing how right he was. She didn’t want to let go, she wasn’t ready yet. “I want you to come with me.”
    Soap’s features faded to sadness, still intent on staring into her brown eyes forever. “I can’t. I can’t watch you love him more. Not this time around. When he was gone, it was tolerable−it was easier to imagine that you loved me.” His hand moved to stroke her arm, sending exploding sparks shooting up it and into her heart. “Now, I’m a shadow in his midst.”
    “No, wait…”
    “No, it’s okay.” He pulled her closer, lifting her chin up to look deeper into her eyes. “I accept it. I know I’ll never live up to him, never be what you want me to be. I’m okay with it. I still love you, but you need time to figure it out. You only have days left, if that. I know you will get what you