Free Second Chance by Katie Kacvinsky

outfit makes an obvious statement.
“ Great apron,” I tell her . “I get the feeling this isn’t your dream job ? ” She yanks on her lip ring and glances at Gray .
“I think that’s the first thing you said to me,” she tells him .
I order a sandwich and set my money on the counter . I notice this girl glance at me and back at Gray and Gray look s at me and back at her like we’re playing stare tag . I decide to call them out on their little game .
“Listen,” I say . “If I have toothpaste stuck to my face, would one of you just point it out instead of gawking at me?”
“You must be Dylan,” she says . I nod and she extends her small hand to shake mine . “I’m Lenny,” she says . “It’s an honor.”

GRAY
T ake a deep breath . Okay, so the ghost of love’s past just paid you a surprise visit . No reason to freak out .
       I slam my hands into the pocket of my hooded sweatshirt and stomp to class . I avoid eye contact . Usually every other person I pass recognize s me on campus , b ut I can’t muster up a fake smile right now . Not when my chest is smoking . I pull the rim of my cap down low and turn my music up .
My lips flatten into a tight line . This is not happening.
She is not staying .
Dylan’s a smart girl . She definitely got the hint that I’m not exactly thrilled to see her . She might even be gone before I get back on Sunday and that would be for the best . Besides, w hat do we have to say to each other ? Neither of us do es small talk , and why rehash old memories that are better swept under the rug ?
We can’t recreate what we had . You can’t bring back the past . So wh y fight about it ?
Also, I’m obviously not attracted to her . I take a deep sigh of relief as this fact resonates through my mind, like cold ice soothing a burn . What did I ever see in her ? She’s skinnier than I remembered. S he almost looks malnourished . I like curves . And that wild h air—is she ever going to cut it ? Her clothes—seriously, she’s too old to dress like a bum . It was interesting in Phoenix because it was different, but now it’s just embarrassing . People know me on campus . I can’t be seen with a girl who looks like I picked her up from the local soup kitchen . People are going to assume I’m doing community service , not hanging out with my girlfriend .
I have an image to maintain .
B ut she smell ed really good in my shampoo and her eyes still ma ke the energy in the room shift .  H er smile still heats the air and my mind and makes something hollow feel occupied by something warm .
But that’s just because we ’ve been intimate . Some feelings are bound to resurface . That’s normal . We’ve had sex . We’v e had sex m ultiple, okay, maybe hundreds of times . An d it was toe-curling, mind-blow ing —
N o, no, it wasn’t that good . Not with Dylan . It couldn’t have been . She’s not even my type . She’s just this novel creature, this rare specimen . And when it comes to sex, I just have nothing else to compare it to . I need a second opinion, that’s all . I need to get laid .
That’s it . Maybe I ’l l hit it off with Kari . Kari lives here, she’s in college, I can relate to her . Dylan’s just a girl in my past . She lives in a playground of her imagination and that’s the last thing I need right now .
But then why is ever ything so effortless with her ? Why is it so easy to want the wrong person ?

 
 
DYLAN
R elax and breathe . Okay, t hings didn’t go quite the way you hope d . Scratch that . Things didn’t go even a fraction of a decimal point close to the way you hope d , but no need to panic . Count your blessings . You have your health and your wisdom and all your teeth .
I sit on my duffel bag on the top of Gray’s balcony and stare out at the rooftops stretching below . I’ve never felt more lost, like a feather plucked out of a bir d that slowly descends to the ground only to look misplaced . W here do I go from here ?
At least I