Free The Vampire Gene by Jenny Doe

drove back to the Colborne house in silence. I wasn't ready to talk yet, and everyone seemed to respect that. We pulled up in front of the house, Oliver and James' car a short distance behind us. Martin complimented Julia on her driving, and then hurried off to scrutinise the car with Fergus. Julia led us into the house, and set about organising things. Within thirty minutes I had had a shower, and had put on a fresh set of clothes - my old ones were splattered with Eric's blood. Julia and I were about the same size, and her clothes were pretty trendy for an older person - jeans and hoodie of the softest light blue wool I had ever felt.
    We all gathered around a large dining table - not the one in that old stone room - I wondered how many dining room tables the Colbornes had. Lucy had disappeared into her room as soon as we'd arrived back, and hadn't been seen since. Somehow Julia had rescued the lunch that had been abandoned a couple of hours ago - roast chicken with all the trimmings, and we all tucked into it as if we were starving. It was delicious.
    The ordinariness of everything suddenly struck me and reluctant tears started dripping from the corners of my eyes. I suddenly hit me that I had become a monster briefly today, someone I never thought I could ever be. I felt normal again now , but I was afraid of the creature lurking within me, and of what that creature was capable of.
    Angus reached out and took my hand as it lay on the table, and I turned to smile at him through my tears.
    "I hurt them both," I told him. "And the worst part was that I meant to hurt them. I wanted to. And I enjoyed it." I whispered the last phrase, afraid to say it out loud, to acknowledge the madness. "I was so angry. That's not me , Angus! I have never been like that. I rescue drowning bugs from puddles. But hurting those two men felt good, it felt right. And now it doesn't anymore." I looked around at all the sympathetic eyes and felt even worse. Sympathy always does that to me.
    His beautiful face hardened, his eyes with their d ark lashes gazed at me, compassion in their depths. "You did what you had to do to survive, to get out of there," he told me slowly, squeezing my hand reassuringly. "You cannot think that that is who you are. It is who you had to be for a time. You did not choose to be that person - you had to be them. Do you understand?"
    I nodded, but the tears still fell . I so desperately wanted to believe him.
    "Have you heard of the warrior gene, Rebecca?" Julia spoke now, her gaze gentle as it rested on me.
    "I've heard of it," I replied vaguely, sniffing. "I'm not sure what it is exactly, though."
    "It's actually a group of genes that occur in some people, that are associated with an increase in criminal and risk taking behaviour. Those people are genetically predisposed to being evil. It doesn't excuse their behaviour, obviously, and they still definitely belong in jail, but it helps to explain how they are and the things they do."
    She paused, as if considering her words. "Being an iron metaboliser is much, much harder. Each and every one of us have to constantly fight the power and dominance and rage within us. The fact that you are sitting here now, regretting what you have had to do, tells me that you have won, and that you will continue to win. "
    She smiled wryly. "I have done some terrible things in my two hundred years, but I'm still fighting, and most of the time, I still win."
    Her words washed over me like a soothing balm.
    "As long as you acknowledge the vampire in you, and you keep it buried when you don't need it, you too will win," she continued. "My brother Jack never bothered to fight it. He embraced it." She spoke deliberately, her eyes expressionless. "I had hoped he was dead, but it seems he's not." She turned to Angus. "I would like your help to make him so."
    I looked at Angus, and allowed my gaze to linger on the planes of his striking face as he contemplated the request, frowning, his eyes black