Free The Ultimate Guide to Kink by Tristan Taormino Page B

feel of her vaginal walls around my hand: tight, hot, pulsing, and slick. I don’t feel the rest of my body—I only feel the point of connection between the two of us.
    —CHERYL
     
     
    I never really thought about fisting until I was in my late 20s and just beginning to fully explore my sexuality. I came across some fisting porn on the Internet and really couldn’t see the point in it; it looked scary, painful, and decidedly unsexy. It took me a few years to get past my preconceptions about it; one day, it just clicked for me. Now it’s one of my favorite activities with new partners and long-term lovers alike, and every time I get the chance to be inside one of them it’s an entirely new experience for both of us.
    As a fister, I get a feeling of exultation from penetrating my partner with a part of my body that is attached to me (something that I don’t otherwise have the ability to do). I love the feeling of my partner’s heartbeat through her vaginal walls; I love feeling the slickness of her body, the tightness around my hand, and hearing her expressions of arousal and exertion. I love helping her work toward the goal of my hand inside her; it feels like midwifing a spiritual experience, watching and exhorting her to take just a little more, breathe just a little deeper, relax and let the orgasm come. Fisting is a singularly spiritual and carnal experience, and it’s one that brings amazing intimacy with it.
    Fisting is not a BDSM-only activity; yet, the combination of power, control, energy, and sex that it offers makes it a natural way to explore power exchange. It can affirm a bond between partners, requiring and building trust between people in a way that few other types of play can do. And it can be incorporated into almost any type of scene, from humiliation to reward to bondage to beatings, and even into spiritual guidance and growth.
    Fisting is often misunderstood, not only because of the images that often spring to mind when talking about it (the old idea of “punch fucking,” for one), but also because we are generally not used to exploring the internal organs with as much mindfulness as is necessary to create a sexy, healthy scene. So, let’s start by taking a look at the physiology of the vagina.
     
    Illustration 4.1. Female Anatomy

    PHYSIOLOGY
    The vagina is a muscular tube that connects the cervix with the exterior of the body. (See Illustration 4.1: Female anatomy. It may be helpful for you to refer to this as you read through the next section.) It’s a multifunctional organ—it does everything from encouraging ejaculation during intercourse to passing a baby from the uterus into the world. The urethra and the glans of the clitoris are located just above the vaginal opening. It’s all protected by the labia majora and the labia minora, which cover the vaginal opening. While some people have smaller labia than others, everyone’s labia are very sensitive, and they can be one focus of stimulation during fisting. The entire vulva is a highly vascular area; a large number of blood vessels bring blood flow to the area, and a tremendous number of small capillaries are just under the surface of the vaginal tissue. This density of nerve endings, especially in the clitoris, means that even small, gentle sensations can create a very big impact in this region.
    It’s important to remember that a number of other things are going on in the vaginal area. The G-spot, located on the front wall of the vagina, is for some people a highly sensitive area, responding especially well to pressure from fingers or hands. The A-spot (or anterior fornix) is another especially sensitive area, located at the deepest part of the vagina where the vaginal wall connects with the cervix. There is also the structure of the clitoris, which reaches up into the body and surrounds the vaginal walls. Visualizing the various anatomical areas when fisting can help you create more specific sensations and even stronger orgasms