Free Redemption by La Kuehlke Page A

a while I’ll be working with Carrie at that bookstore she and - the bookstore she has.”
    “You can say her name. It’s okay.” I think. “I’m guessing Carrie told you.”
    “Sorry. She did.” Cassidy looked uncomfortable.
    He shrugged. “It’s fine. Go on with your story.” Just keep talking. Let me hear your voice. Stay for a while. Because I’m not sure why, but being near you, hearing you, getting through this day is suddenly a bit easier.
    “Well, I’ll be working with them.” She was careful not to say Miranda’s name. No matter what Bryan told her, she saw the pain in his eyes when he’d thought she was going to say it. There was no way she was going to do anything to cause him one ounce of hurt. “I’ve got to find something else, but it’ll do for now. I’ve also got to find a place of my own, after the wedding. I can’t stay by my aunt and uncle for any longer than that. I love them, but it’ll drive me crazy.”
    “What do you want to do?” Bryan asked.
    “I don’t know. Something different. Something exciting.” Her eyes were shining again. “I don’t want to waste a day, you know?”
    No, he didn’t.
    “Besides, it’s really all about what God has planned for me,” she continued.
    “God, huh? You honestly believe that?” Bryan asked, eyebrows raised.
    “Sure. You don’t?” He’d never seen such honesty and innocence as he did now, in her.
    “I’m not sure what I think about God,” he answered truthfully. “I’ve never given Him much thought. I suppose He’s let me down a bit over the years.”
    “Hmm. Yeah, I can understand that.”
    Again, she didn’t press. She didn’t lecture. She just let him be real. Bryan’s experience had taught him to expect something other than that kind of acceptance. Other than Carrie and Nick, he didn’t know any Christians he considered worth the knowing. They could be a judgmental lot.
    “You hungry? We can order room service,” he offered.
    Staying in sounded wonderfully tempting to her, but she really didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. Bryan needed friends right now, not some girl he thought was only interested in his body.
    “How about this instead? On our way in, I saw a restaurant downstairs. Why don’t we go there?”
    He smirked. “Okay, Cass, but I’m going to insist on treating.”
    “Not necessary. I can pay for my half,” she said.
    He thought again about the ample funds Mara had given him to keep him happy and comfortable during his stay in New Jersey. He’d accepted it to make her happy, but now he didn’t want the money. He wanted to get rid of it, the weight of it making him feel sluggish. Having some distance from Mara was giving him new perspective. He recalled how good it felt to take care of a woman instead of being the one taken care of. Cassidy made him want to do that again.
    And he’d only spent a few hours with her. He couldn’t explain it.
    What was it about this woman that made him feel so at peace? She was his friend’s kid cousin. Or she used to be. The stone grew warm. He didn’t deserve someone like her. It would be great to hang out with her while he was in New Jersey, but then he’d return to his real life. The one with Mara. The one where he could be with someone who didn’t care if he was as messed up on the outside as he felt inside. With Mara, there was no need to change it. She was about the next good time, not lifelong commitment. He’d have to be better for someone like Cassidy, and he wasn’t sure he had it in him anymore. He used to be a good guy. He was just too damaged, and someone like her deserved more than he could offer. Friendship he could do.
    And friends could take one another out for dinner.
    “Listen, kid. I’m paying.” He was firm, but smiling. “Just let me do this, okay?”
    Cassidy sensed the need in his voice. “Okay, but just this time. I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you.”
    Please do, he thought.
    “No worries