Preface
Long ago, on a high Indian plateau, there was a tribe that lived in total self-sufficiency and in peace with the neighboring tribes. Their lives emphasized harmony among all the peopleâparticularly cooperation between spouses. They believed that the greatest cooperation of all was to be found in sexual intimacy, and thus they considered lovemaking one of the noblest arts, on a par with cooking, singing, dancing, and other types of expression.
The chief of the village, an ancient sage, dedicated himself to the intellectual teachings that the masters of various disciplines transmitted to one another. Thus, after the midday mealâusually taken communallyâthe ancient sage directed the work of the field laborers and the artisans as well as other community activities.
When evening came, the sage gathered together the tribeâs young adolescents and matched them as couples. They convened in a great bamboo shelter at the center of the village to spend the night there. The beds were separated by simple curtains of palm fronds, giving some privacy to the couples, who were there to practice the refined art of love.
Among the young women and men, the older initiated the younger, putting into practice the lessons they had learned regarding the finer points and exquisite pleasure of fully developed sexuality. Together, they learned everything: female cycles as well as male cycles, impulses, the essential importance of sexual fantasies, sexual positions, pregnancy, and childbirth. Every aspect of sexuality and reproductionâfrom nourishment to the proper behavior of partners toward one anotherâwas included in this initiation. All of this knowledge originated from ayurvedic medicine and had been handed down from generation to generation.
The people of this tribe experienced little jealousy, because each of them had had sex with all the others (both women and men) during the sexual apprenticeship period, which lasted several weeks. For this reason, they had no occasion to indulge later in life in fantasies of switching partners in order to discover something new (an idea that is often a total illusion).
When a young man was in love with a young woman and wished to marry her, he would address his request to the council of sages. The council would then subject him to a certain number of tests. The most remarkable of these tests involved meditating, completely naked, in front of the sages. During this meditation, the young man was required to achieve an erection without any physical stimulation whatsoever and ejaculate purely through the strength of his mental power. This continues to be a part of many yogic practices.
On the wedding dayâafter the young man had passed all the testsâhe would stand before the woman he loved and the sage would say: âMan, here is the woman to whom you are husband!â The master would then turn toward the young woman and say: âWoman, here is the man to whom you are wife!â In saying this, the true meaning was: âYou are
her
husband, but she is not
your
wife,â in the sense of possession of property. The same was true reciprocally. When the husband introduced the women he had married, he would say, âHere is the woman to whom I am husband.â The intent of these introductions was simply to make it clear that whenever either spouse gave to the other without ever expecting anything in return, he or she could then feel nothing but surprise and joy upon receiving something completely free. Someone who expects nothing cannot be let down. Disappointment occurs only when one expects something in return, then does not receive it.
Long ago, when someone told me of the existence of this kind of teaching, I began to study ayurvedic, Taoist, and tantric lovemaking practices. Having taught nidra yoga and laya yoga for more than twenty years, I could simply have added these practices to my lessons. I did not do so, however, because I felt that the
Katlin Stack, Russell Barber