Free The Vicar of Wakefield by Oliver Goldsmith

to keep for
them, and give them by letters at a time. He brought my daughters
also a couple of boxes, in which they might keep wafers, snuff,
patches, or even money, when they got it. My wife was usually fond
of a weesel skin purse, as being the most lucky; but this by the
bye. We had still a regard for Mr Burchell, though his late rude
behaviour was in some measure displeasing; nor could we now avoid
communicating our happiness to him, and asking his advice: although
we seldom followed advice, we were all ready enough to ask it. When
he read the note from the two ladies, he shook his head, and
observed, that an affair of this sort demanded the utmost
circumspection.—This air of diffidence highly displeased my wife.
'I never doubted, Sir,' cried she, 'your readiness to be against my
daughters and me. You have more circumspection than is wanted.
However, I fancy when we come to ask advice, we will apply to
persons who seem to have made use of it themselves.'—'Whatever my
own conduct may have been, madam,' replied he, 'is not the present
question; tho' as I have made no use of advice myself, I should in
conscience give it to those that will.'—As I was apprehensive this
answer might draw on a repartee, making up by abuse what it wanted
in wit, I changed the subject, by seeming to wonder what could keep
our son so long at the fair, as it was now almost nightfall.—'Never
mind our son,' cried my wife, 'depend upon it he knows what he is
about. I'll warrant we'll never see him sell his hen of a rainy
day. I have seen him buy such bargains as would amaze one. I'll
tell you a good story about that, that will make you split your
sides with laughing—But as I live, yonder comes Moses, without an
horse, and the box at his back.'
    As she spoke, Moses came slowly on foot, and sweating under the
deal box, which he had strapt round his shoulders like a
pedlar.—'Welcome, welcome, Moses; well, my boy, what have you
brought us from the fair?'—'I have brought you myself,' cried
Moses, with a sly look, and resting the box on the dresser.—'Ay,
Moses,' cried my wife, 'that we know, but where is the horse?' 'I
have sold him,' cried Moses, 'for three pounds five shillings and
two-pence.'—'Well done, my good boy,' returned she, 'I knew you
would touch them off. Between ourselves, three pounds five
shillings and two-pence is no bad day's work. Come, let us have it
then.'—'I have brought back no money,' cried Moses again. 'I have
laid it all out in a bargain, and here it is,' pulling out a bundle
from his breast: 'here they are; a groce of green spectacles, with
silver rims and shagreen cases.'—'A groce of green spectacles!'
repeated my wife in a faint voice. 'And you have parted with the
Colt, and brought us back nothing but a groce of green paltry
spectacles!'—'Dear mother,' cried the boy, 'why won't you listen to
reason? I had them a dead bargain, or I should not have bought
them. The silver rims alone will sell for double money.'—'A fig for
the silver rims,' cried my wife, in a passion: 'I dare swear they
won't sell for above half the money at the rate of broken silver,
five shillings an ounce.'—'You need be under no uneasiness,' cried
I, 'about selling the rims; for they are not worth six-pence, for I
perceive they are only copper varnished over.'—'What,' cried my
wife, 'not silver, the rims not silver!' 'No,' cried I, 'no more
silver than your saucepan,'—'And so,' returned she, 'we have parted
with the Colt, and have only got a groce of green spectacles, with
copper rims and shagreen cases! A murrain take such trumpery. The
blockhead has been imposed upon, and should have known his company
better.'—'There, my dear,' cried I, 'you are wrong, he should not
have known them at all.'—'Marry, hang the ideot,' returned she, 'to
bring me such stuff, if I had them, I would throw them in the
fire.' 'There again you are wrong, my dear,' cried I; 'for though
they be copper, we will keep them by us, as copper spectacles,