Free Miss Wrong and Mr Right by Robert Bryndza

table was set for five. They’d guessed correctly he wouldn’t show.  
    There was a lovely clean sounding pop as Fred opened the wine. He poured three glasses and handed one each to me and Sharon.
    ‘Cheers,’ he said and we clinked. After I’d taken a good gulp I told them about the launch party, and about seeing Jamie.  
    ‘Jamie Dawson?’ asked Sharon.
    ‘Yes,’ I said.
    ‘And he’s dating Tuppence Halfpenny… She’s like the British…’
    ‘Dita Von Teese, yes,’ I finished.
    ‘God I picked a right night to get nits…’ said Sharon.
    ‘She’s pretty nice stuff that Tuppence Halfpenny. All that lace, and those suspenders,’ grinned Fred.
    ‘Steady on mister,’ said Sharon tossing a salad briskly with two long plastic spoons.
    ‘What? You can have pictures of Ryan Harrison in the pantry, and I can’t appreciate the curves of Miss Halfpenny?’ grinned Fred.
    ‘No. Is the simple answer,’ said Sharon. ‘The crushes women experience are so much more elegant and romantic. If Ryan Harrison walked in here right now, I would offer him some salad and a glass of fine wine… If Tuppence walked in right now, your eyes would go all glassy, you’d drool, and no doubt have to adjust your trousers…’
    ‘No, no. I’m class all the way,’ protested Fred. ‘The only trouser adjusting I do is for you.’ He leant in and kissed her. I looked at them, they are still so in love after all these years. Sharon gave me a grin and took the salad over to the table.
    ‘So how did Jamie look after all these years?’ she asked.  
    ‘He still looks so good. He’s like a fine wine, he's aged well,’ I said.
    ‘Like Fred. He’s a vintage,’ laughed Sharon rubbing the balding patch in Fred’s dark hair.
    ‘Hey! She was lucky to marry me, wasn’t she?’ he smiled. I grinned and nodded.
    ‘Do you ever wish you’d married Jamie?’ asked Sharon.  
    ‘God no! No… No, no, no, no, no…’ I said. I took a gulp of wine. There was an awkward pause.
    ‘Okay, I think we’re ready to eat,’ said Sharon.

    I loved going for lunch at Sharon’s, but today I felt out of sorts. All the talk of Jamie and what might have been made me see their happy family in a different light. They were such a tight, loving little unit. They never make me feel out of place, but today I did.
    After we’d eaten the first course of cold meats, cheese and salad, I excused myself and went upstairs to the bathroom. I turned on the taps and tried Benjamin on my mobile, to my surprise he answered.  
    ‘Benjamin hi,’ I said cupping my hand around the phone.
    ‘Are you by the sea?’ he asked. I turned off the taps.
    ‘No. I’m at Sharon’s. In the bathroom.’
    ‘Are you on the toilet? Because Natalie, that’s just disrespectful.’
    ‘I’m not on the toilet. I’m sitting on the edge of the bath, running the taps,’ I regretted saying this because it hinted that I had somehow hidden myself away to phone him. ‘I called to see what you’re doing later?’ I added.
    ‘Nothing,’ he said.
    ‘Great. So do you want to come round? We can order some sushi, and we can put on a film you like. I’ve got Ghandi on DVD…’
    ‘No, I’m planning on doing nothing. I need to think. Meditate.’
    ‘About what?’ I said hopefully.
    ‘Natalie, what is this Western obsession with doing things and filling up your time with tasks?’
    ‘But you said…’
    ‘Natalie, I’m a free spirit, you knew this when you entered into a relationship with me…’
    ‘I was going to ask you tonight, but because you’re busy doing nothing, I have to ask you now. How would you like to come to my sister Micky’s christening?’ I asked.
    ‘I thought your sister was in her late twenties?’  
    ‘It’s her son Dexter’s christening,’ I clarified.
    There was a pause.
    ‘Natalie, you know I despise organised religion.’
    ‘There’s nothing really religious about it, it’ll just be a load of middle-class people showing off their