Free Okay by Danielle Pearl

I "accidentally" kick one of the legs of her chair in retaliation as I walk back through the house to the main foyer. I'm looking forward to introducing Rory and Thea. I think they'll get along. They both have that realness that I think they'll each appreciate in the other. And since they'll be going to NYU together and Rory doesn't know anyone else there, it's important to me that they get to know one another.  
    Bits is already answering the door, but it's only Chelsea and her mom. I quicken my pace to the door. Bits is not Chelsea's biggest fan, nor is she especially adept at hiding her feelings.
    They each air kiss Bits before making their way through the foyer and greeting me. Chelsea kisses me on the cheek and I give her a pat on the back. The way she lingers makes me think she was looking for a hug, but after everything that's happened, I don't want to give her the wrong idea.
    I've never given her an inkling of a reason to think I was interested in anything other than a friendship with her, and I was honestly stunned when Rory announced that Chel's actions in that bathroom were because of her feelings for me. Though I think her assertion that she was "in love" with me was an exaggeration. And while Chel's apology was followed—to my great relief—by her insistence that she was over her "crush", I'd like to help her keep it that way.
    Bits lingers in the kitchen while I lead Chelsea and Chris outside to the rest of the group. My sister was never Chelsea's biggest fan. Chelsea has a particular personality, a bit of an acquired taste, and it isn't for everyone. But Bits says she doesn't like what she calls Chelsea's need to constantly be the center of attention. In my sister's defense, it's fair assessment. Chelsea does like all eyes on her. But I think Bits has been more sensitive to it since my father left.
    But Chelsea's attack on Rory was the last nail in the coffin as far as Bits was concerned. My sister connected with Rory immediately, not unlike myself, and from that first time she came to my house for dinner, I was sure she had a life-long fan. Well, maybe more than one.
    When Bits heard about Chelsea's attempt at "looking out" for me by taking pictures of Rory changing and their subsequent brawl, she couldn't condemn Chelsea fast enough. And what could I say? She was right. And despite my encouragement of forgiveness, Bits seems about as inclined as Rory does. Maybe even less so.
    I turn to head back inside and see if Bits is okay. She hasn't given me any reason to think otherwise, this has just become a habit of mine ever since her suicide attempt last summer. But as soon as I enter the kitchen, my eyes lock on her .
    Rory's here. Bit's is hugging her hello. The bell didn't ring, so she must have arrived just after Chelsea.
    Warmth unfurls in my chest, only slightly alleviating the constant weight there. Something about seeing my sister's affection for Rory makes my feelings seem even more justified. Like I'm not crazy for having fallen so fucking deeply for her in such a short time.
    Bits hugs Carl too, and Rory's gaze slides to mine. My breath catches for a split second, but I hide it. She's just so fucking beautiful. Her perfect lips quirk up into an uncertain smile, and in this moment, all I want is to offer her the reassurance to vanquish her uncertainty.
    My grin tells her how happy I am to see her, though I suspect she might doubt my sincerity. She knows I'm trying to make her feel comfortable, and I hate that she doesn't know that my motivation doesn't mitigate my affection for her.
    I grab the water pitcher from the counter so my hands are full when I greet them. It prevents me from touching her. Or from drawing attention to the fact that I'm carefully not touching her.
    Because I can't fucking touch her.
    I remind myself, again, that this beautiful girl with eyes that somehow shine despite their exhaustion, whose small smile makes my fucking heartbeat skitter, is nothing more than a friend.  I tell