Free Wanted Always (Xander Barns) by Sarah Tork

thinking about the shrimp appetizer I passed up when I
first arrived inside. And on that note, I’ve been drinking a cranberry-vodka
drink on an empty stomach. This is not good. I’m beginning to sway slowly from
side–to-side.
    My body is
feeling warm all of a sudden. I don’t want to start sweating, especially in my
fab dress. Getting drunk also means my senses won’t be as strong, and I need to
be strong tonight. There is no way I’m conceding, even if Ben’s eyes still did
that sexy twinkle thing that made my body want to just give in.
    Don’t
think about Ben, especially his sweet eyes. Lovely eyes. Just don’t.
    Go back
to thinking about food!
    I’m
starving. That’s right. That’s why I’m weak right now, weak and a little bit
buzzed. I should not be drinking on an empty stomach; what is wrong with me?
    The smell of
savory tomato sauce and meat take control of the air around me. My eyes want to
roll back, but I stop them by putting them to the task of finding the food that
I smell.
    Oh glorious
food, where art thou! My eyes stop searching as I find the location of the
food. Across the dance floor, in the corner of the room, I spot long
rectangular tables with steam escaping the platters spread across them. Right
beside the buffet sits my biggest problem: Ben’s table. Along with the rest of
the people our age, Ben sits with his empty cup in front of him. He laughs
loudly and his face turns red.
    This is just
great; another splendid way to make things even more awkward. There is no way I
can get to the buffet tables without walking past his table; and I know if I
do, I will become the subject of conversation at that table.
    I don’t like
to be stared at, especially from behind. I know he would stare at me, or even
worse, come join me in line and make small talk. Maybe even try and win me back
with his schmooze talk, thinking I’m the same girl just putting on a front for
him.
    I mean
business, and this girl did change. I changed for the better and I’m not
going back, no way, no how! I glance around the room as the partygoers get up
and make their way to the buffet. There’s soon a line wrapped around the room.
    Just great!
Either I’ll have to wait for the line to die down, or take my chances and join,
in hopes that it will be faster.
    I need to
make a choice now. The kids at this table are getting up; I’d stick out like a
sore thumb at the table all by myself while everyone is waiting in line.
    I do not
want to stand out. I get up and smooth my dress down in the process. From this
distance, I see Ben and the rest of his table get up at the same time. I follow
Darcy across the dance floor. From the corner of my eye, I keep an eye on Ben,
making sure that I won’t get stuck behind him, or him behind me. I’d slow down
or hurry up in either case. Thankfully, Ben and his table join the line and a
few other people quickly join behind him. That means I will be far enough away
from him.
    Thank God! I
don’t know how long the line will take. The line is moving; the DJ begins a
big-band track and I lean against the wall as Darcy and the rest of the kids
grumble how hungry they are. I sneak a peek at Ben and his tablemates, careful
not to seem like I’m staring.
    Did he get
taller? Did his shoulders grow wider? Has he been pumping iron? He fills out
his jacket nicely, and unfortunately, looks really good.
    Too good. In
fact, if I wasn’t so hungry, I’d say mouth–watering. I quickly look away from
his broadened shoulders in fear of combusting.
    Imagine if
he turned around and looked me dead in the eye. I think I would just grab him
at that point, and take him to one of the empty banquet rooms to take care of
business.
    Oh God! Now
I’m salivating for ex-boyfriend sex. Just great; I’m horny now. I suck in some
air; hopefully, the oxygen will give my brain the clarity it needs to make the
right choices.
    I wait. The
nerves don’t die down, and now I feel restless and annoyed that I have nothing
to