Free The Body Doesn't Lie by Vicky Vlachonis Page A

fantastic—I’d like you to come every day.”
    I smiled. “I’m really flattered, Adam,” I said. “But I’m not coming back here until you do something for me.” He looked up, dumbfounded. I guess he wasn’t used to hearing the word no.
    I explained to him that I didn’t think I could do him any good until he slowed down a bit and gave his sympathetic nervous system a rest. “Otherwise, it’s like using a water gun to put out a burning house—there’s really no point.”
    I told him that I wanted him to do a couple of Reflect exercises for me, and I described the Time Audit and the Food Diary. I asked him to take a week to reflect on how he was treating himself; once he had that information gathered, I said, I’d come back and we could work together to tackle the Release phase and release some of his pain.
    He took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay. I hear you.”
    A week later I came back, and we took a hike together—no phones, no Bluetooth—while he told me about his week. “It was an eye-opener,” he said. “I didn’t realize how much espresso I was downing—it’s a wonder my heart hasn’t exploded!” He told me that completing the Time Audit was the first clue he’d had that he wasn’t sleeping seven hours a night: “If I’m lucky, I sleep five,” he said. “But I’m usually awake in the middle of the night, my mind racing. I hate to waste time just lying there, so I get up and do something.”
    The hours in between weren’t much calmer. The only time he had “relaxed,” he discovered, was when he made love to his wife—just once in seven days. “Definitely need to work on that!” he joked.
    We talked about his Release plan. Clearly, his biggest issue was his electronic leash—but what was he so afraid he would miss? And, more important, how much of his real life was he missing in the process?
    Adam begrudgingly agreed to turn off his phone for three hours a day, in order to have evenings with his family and really engage with his kids and his wife. He also agreed to dump the white bread and pizza, cut way back on the espresso (he said he couldn’t go cold turkey), and start each day with a Liver Flush Smoothie. He also agreed to make love with his wife at least two or three times a week. “Now that’s what I call a prescription!” he said, grinning.
    By the time I saw him the following week, Adam’s shoulders looked about a foot lower than the week before. When I got him on the table, sure enough—his neck felt loose and some of the long-standing knots in his shoulders and back melted under my touch. He confessed that he hadn’t told me about chest pains that had previously been coming and going. “I think I was in denial,” he said, adding that he hadn’t felt anything alarming in at least five days.
    We ended our session with his promise to continue to look for more ways to disconnect and to baby his nervous system—and despite his still-strong urge to go-go-go, Adam has thus far stuck to that promise. Rebuilding his Adaptive Response is a work in progress. Adam is slowly but surely learning to value himself, even when he isn’t dashing around making deals, producing, being “successful” every moment. He’s learning to take a longer view and develop a new definition of success. He’s also learning how to feed his soul with rest, relaxation, and health-supporting anti-inflammatory foods; how to connect with people he loves; and, most important, how to face his demons. Adam’s upper back pain still comes and goes, but it no longer defines him—and neither does his work.
How the Positive Feedback Approach Can Make You Well
    As you read through the descriptions of upper back pain and lower back pain types, did anything resonate with you? Did you see yourself in one or both of those stories? Are you starting to understand how the Reflect process can help you face and understand the root of your pain? Once you understand it, you can begin the work of ending the