Free Natural Beauty by Leslie Dubois

yourself. Once you accept that your hair is
never going to be like white hair you're going to be happy. Just like when you
finally accept that you are never going to be what Vinny wants you to be."
    This
was hard to hear. I tried not to believe it but I had to. I was never going to
be Indian like Vinny wanted me to be in order to
marry me and my hair was never going to be straight, not naturally that is. In
order to make it straight, I’d have to do constant irreversible damage to my
hair.
    I
sat silent in my living room as I stared in the mirror at my short nappy hair.
It was going to take some serious mental retraining in order to start thinking
of my hair as special and unique instead of ethnic and ugly. I tried to
concentrate on all the compliments I had received lately. I never received
compliments on my hair before. Now my hair was something different that people
weren't used. Different wasn't always bad.
    "Fine,
I'll stick it out," I said, finally relenting to her way of thinking.
    Marin
let out a sigh of relief. "Good. Good. And I think maybe you should come
to my support group with me."
    "All the way in Philly? I don't have time for
that."
    "Come
on, it will give you a chance to come see your brother. And you can help me set
up the baby room."
    I
shrugged not willing to give her a firm commitment. Driving two states away
just to hear a group of women whine about their hair was not near the top of my
to-do list.
    "Now
let's see what we can do with your hair," Marin said. "I have a great
idea for a style. We can brush it out section by section and then put finger
curls in it with gel. Your hair is the perfect length for it and it will look
great.
    I
sat back and closed my eyes as Marin got started on my transformation.
    ~~~
    Two
weeks later there was a hair show in Atlanta. Marin and I decided to make a
girls' weekend out of it. We tried to invite Carnece but she had a completely different concept about hair.
    "Hair
is an accessory,” she said.   “An accessory like my shoes. If I don't like my shoes you
don't see me getting all weepy over it. I just go out and buy another pair.
It's the same with my hair. If I don't like it one day, I buy a new wig."
    "Yes,
but don't you want your own hair?" Marin had asked her.
    "It is my hair. I have the receipt," Carnece said with a 'duh' look on her face.
    It
was at this hair expo that I think my eyes were finally opened about this whole
hair revolution thing. There was a change brewing. I saw so many different hair
textures and styles and so much pride. People were proud of their hair whether
it was short, long, curly, or kinky. I saw products that were created by black people for black people. Products that the creators had used on their own
hair and thus could give advice on specific hair care techniques. No products
from major corporations who didn't even have a black employee. That was
something that had always secretly bothered me about the hair care industry. I
mean, black women only made up about 8% of the buying population, but they
bought 90% of the products. Change was coming and change looked good.

 
 
 
 
 

Chapter 14: Shrinkage

 
    Shrinkage:
Because of the tight curl pattern of African American hair, much length is lost
due to what is called shrinkage. Especially after washing, hair can lose
several inches in visible length due to shrinkage. One of the first steps to
natural hair care is finding a healthy way to stretch the hair and give it
length.
    ~~~
    Hair
tip #13: Styling dry hair keeps it from shrinking as much. Hair should be dry
but well-oiled and moisturized before attempting things like twist outs and
braid outs.
    ~~~
    My
hair was finally growing. I could tell. When I sat in front of the mirror and
stretched out one of the tightly curled strands of hair, I could see how long
it was. Unfortunately, as soon as I released the hair it shriveled up against
my head again making it look like I had no hair at all.
    I
had no idea how I was going to