Free Natural Beauty by Leslie Dubois Page A

style my hair for my date with James. I didn't
know why I was so worried about it. On our two previous dates, he didn't seem
to mind my natural hair. In fact, he loved it. He often introduced me as his
naturally beautiful black queen. I guess that was one benefit to dating a black
man. I knew that if I was with Vinny , I would
constantly have to explain this transformation my hair was undergoing. He
completely wouldn't understand why it suddenly wasn't straight anymore.
    "Honestly,
I'm so happy we're together now," James with two ‘A’s said.
    Together? We had been on three dates
spread out over a month and hadn't done more than a little front door kissing
that I actually didn't find too exciting. Did that mean we were a couple? I
really didn't know. Maybe that was how things worked nowadays. After a few
dates there was an understood agreement that you were a couple. That didn't
sound quite right to me. That really didn't seem like the way things went with Carnece .
    "Um, why?" I asked not knowing what else to
say.
    "I've
seen you around the neighborhood before with an Indian looking man. Was he your
man before?"
    I
nodded.
    James
with two ‘A’s shook his head. "You see that is what is wrong with our
people."
    "Our people?"
    "Yes,
black people. Always trying to date outside of our race. It's disrespectful."
    I
almost choked on my chicken. "Disrespectful? To
who?"
    "To us. How are we supposed to teach a
new generation of young people to have pride in their skin color if our own
people don’t? When you date someone of another race, it's like saying that your
own people aren't good enough."
    I
was too shocked to speak. I knew some people felt that way, but I had never
actually met someone. I thought it was only some white people who were against
interracial dating. I didn't know there were some black people who felt that
way as well. I guess you could call this reverse racism. Wait a minute. That
term didn't sit right with me. It was like saying that white
people being racist toward black was the right way, but black racism
toward white was backwards. All racism is wrong no matter what direction it
goes.
    I
put my fork down and as calmly as possible said, "So let's say
hypothetically that we have a child and he or she falls in love with someone of
a different skin color. You would forbid them from marrying?"
    "Absolutely," Jaames said without hesitation. "All of my
children know that's unacceptable. A quick fling is one thing, but marriage or
procreation is completely out of the question."
    My
heart beat started to accelerate. Some women might not have been as offended as
I was in that moment. They could have thought of it as a compliment that a
black man thought black women were the only women worthy enough for him.
Especially considering the way the rest of society considered black women. But
for me, I couldn't help wondering if Vinny's family
might have had conversations exactly like this. If Vinny was raised in a similar environment, then it perfectly explained why marriage
to me never even crossed his mind.
    Wait
a minute. What was that he had said about children? "Your children know
it's unacceptable? You have children?"
    "Yeah,
I do," he said simply as if it was common knowledge. "I have
eleven."
    "Eleven?
You have eleven children?"
    He
nodded. "And I hope to have many more. Children are a beautiful thing
don't you agree?"
    "Yeah
and blue birds are beautiful too but that doesn't mean I want eleven of
them!"
    James
with two ‘A’s laughed. "You are too cute. We are going to be good
together."
    And
what exactly did that mean? Was he planning on knocking me up a few times? Was
that his idea of good?
    Needless
to say, I was a bit distracted for the rest of the date. James with two ‘A’s
was a little too much for me to handle. He was beyond too much to handle, he
was insane. Why would he think I'd want to get involved with someone who had
eleven kids? I had to find   a way out of this relationship that was