Free More Letters From a Nut by Ted L. Nancy Page A

OF STOCKTON
    2500 Navy Drive
    Stockton, CA 95202
    Dear City Planners,
    I understand the city of Stockton is sponsoring PETE BEST DAY in recognition of the former Beatle and the contribution he has made to Beatlemania. Without Pete Best, we may have had a different Ringo.
    I am a fan of Pete Best going way back to Germany when he was known as the hot dog from Hamburg. I think this event is far overdue and I can imagine Pete Best thinks it’s far overdue. He must be simmering. I saw him at the airport once and he was grimacing. This man has had some restraint! He had held himself in for 33 years and now deserves his own event!
    Please let me know when PETE BEST DAY will be taking place? I would like info on Stockton hotels, transportation, clothing, tickets, laundry service, egg salad sandwiches, Beatle wigs, and eyeglass repair shops. Thanks.
    I look forward to hearing from you soon as I have to travel to Stockton and make arrangements.
    Sincerely

    Ted L. Nancy

Full text of the above letter to follow.

17 September 1996
    Ted L. Nancy
    560 N. Moorpark Road, #236
    Thousand Oaks, CA 91360
    Dear Mr. Nancy,
    Thank you for contacting the City of Stockton concerning PETE BEST DAY.
    Unfortunately their is no recognization of the former Beatle going on in the Stockton area to our knowledge.
    I have also checked with the San Francisco Convention & Visitor’s Bureau and they have not heard of any recognization, either.
    If we can be of further assistance to you, please contact us.
    Sincerely,

    Loralee McGaughey,
    Office Manager
    46 WEST FREMONT STREET, STOCKTON, CALIFORNIA 95202
209-943-1987    •    1-800-350-1987    •    FAX 209-943-6235

Full text of the above letter to follow.

560 No. Moorpark Rd.
    Apt #236
    Thousand Oaks, CA 91360
    USA
    MR. RINGO STARR
    2 Glynde Mews
    London SW3 1SB England
    9/23/96
    Dear Ringo,
    I’m in serious need of a pep talk from you. I’d like you to give me a solid talking to. I am desperately in need of an individual gusto talk from a qualified celebrity like yourself that can get me out of the dol drums.
    Having you talk to me would really get me going. I don’t know what it is; why am I glum? I do know that I need a good talking to. A vigor talk. And if possible, I would like there to be a twelve minute question and answer period.
    I’ll pay whatever. It’ll just be me and you, no one else will be there for our pep talk. If you can’t talk to me, please send me a picture. I will look at it. That will cheer me up somewhat. But not as much as the talk.
    In the past I’ve had Pam Dawber (I think) pep me up and that felt good. I felt refreshed. It works for corporations but I don’t want to spend time with a bunch of insurance salesmen. You will be given a ride from the airport in a Mercury Topaz. (Or better). You will also have a clean hotel room with a change of fresh sheets.
    Thanks, Ringo. You are #1. You are my favorite Beatle. Lets talk skiffle talk.
    Sincerely,

    Ted L. Nancy



Full text of the above letter to follow.

560 No. Moorpark Rd. #236
    Thousand Oaks, CA 91360
    Feb 24, 1997
    Customer Service Dept.
    JERSEYMAID MILK DAIRIES
    P.O. Box 3338
    Los Angeles, CA 90051
    Dear Jerseymaid Milk:
    My dog looks just like Ringo Starr. He has the same face. His hair under his chin look like Ringo’s beard. I feed him your nonfat milk. Whenever I show him the carton with the cow’s face on it he barks and jumps up and down until I give him some. Everyone in town calls him the “Fifth Beatle.”
    Everyone that comes over says my dog looks like Ringo Starr. The Fed Ex guy was here yesterday and he remarked, “That dog sure looks like Ringo Starr.” Then he turned a pasty white and belched in the bushes. I had to help him in the house. He ate a pound of grapes till he got his color back.
    Can you please let me know if it is okay to feed my dog that looks like Ringo Starr your nonfat milk on a regular basis? This is very important as I feed it to him every day. His stool is