Free More Letters From a Nut by Ted L. Nancy Page B

orange, but solid. Asparagus and broccoli does that to me. Not Jerseymaid!
    Thank you Jerseymaid people, makers of possibly the best nonfat milk for dogs out there. I admire businesses like yours that make products like this for dogs and humans. (If it is so).
    Also, do you know anybody with a Catherine Bach look alike dog that also drinks Jerseymaid milk? Let me know.
    Very respectfully,

    Ted L. Nancy
& Starkey

Full text of the above letter to follow.

March 27, 1997
    Ted L. Nancy
    560 Norht Moorpark Road #236
    Thousand Oaks CA 91360
    Dear Mr. Nancy:
    Thank you for your delightful letter regarding Starkey, “The Amazing Beatle Look Alike Dog” who enjoys his Jerseymaid non fat milk. We take great pride in our products and appreciate receiving feedback from our canine and human customers.
    I am forwarding a copy of your letter to our Jerseymaid Dairy for their enjoyment. While we believe this is an excellent choice for Starkey to make on a daily basis, we recommend that you have him check with his vet to be sure.
    Thank you for shopping with us and buying Jerseymaid products.
    Sincerely,

    Dotti Baker
    Consumer Affairs Representative
    cc:    W. Kovac
        A. Scotty
    The Vons Companies, Inc. • P O Box 513338, Los Angeles, CA 90051-1338
618 Michillinda Avenue, Arcadia, CA 91007-6300 Telephone: (818) 821-7000

Full text of the above letter to follow.

560 No. Moorpark Rd. #236
    Thousand Oaks CA 91360
    Sep 23, 1996
    Bookings Dept.
    GUTHRIE THEATER
    725 Vineland Place
    Minneapolis, MN 55403
    Dear Bookings Dept.:
    I am the leader of “THE NUDE BEATLES.” We perform a condensed history of the Beatles, but are completely naked. After ten or fifteen minutes you forget we are nude. (Ringo wears a poncho during Sgt. Pepper).
    We are not “Unplugged.” We are “The Beatles Unclothed.” We delve deeper into the history of the group than anyone ever has before. We use tattoos and facial creams and a painter’s drop cloth.
    Here’s what the critics have to say:
    “It’s a fast paced musical exploitography.”
    ––––Fritz Melk, The Alpine Barker
    “I loved it.”
    ––––Art Jimnet, The Nashville Reader
    “I wanted to take my own clothes off.”
    ––––Dottie Nitts, The Ocean City Newz
    Would you like to see an audition tape of this show? Please write and let me know. You’ll think it’s the Beatles - only naked.
    Thank you,

    Ted L. Nancy
    The Nude Beatles

Full text of the above letter to follow.

The Guthrie Theater is primarily used for its own presentations, however the theater is occasionally available for rent on Monday evenings throughout the theater season (May - February inclusive) and on other nights of the week during the off-season. The Theater is only available for rental for a public, paid-admission performance to other non-profit organizations, however it is available to for profit companies for private functions.
    Rental Fee:
    The fee for rental of The Guthrie Theater is $2000 per performance, and this rental fee generally includes the following facilities and services:
    Air conditioning (or heating), lighting of public areas, clean-up of the public areas before and after performance, use of the stage auditorium, lobbies, foyers, cloak rooms, public washrooms and pay telephones.
    Existing stage lighting which is defined as a general stage wash of a neutral quality is included in the rental. Any additional lighting, such as “specials”, special area lighting, or additional color washes requires rental of the lighting system.
    The Guthrie’s sound system is included in the rental only in the event the sound requirements do not include more than the placement of a single microphone or the use of the system for a “stop and start” taped background or musical accompaniment. If additional sound is required, the renter may wish to rent The Guthrie system or choose to rent a commercial system.
    Additional Charges:
    The renter is required to pay additional amounts for all