Free Cowboy Gangster 03 - Outlaws of Love by CJ Bishop

tone. “I fixed the problem.”
    “What… problem?” Cory trembled.
    “You know damn well know what problem, Corrigan!” He raked at his hair again. “Cochise was right. I slipped. And because of it – Shay is dead!”
    “Cochise…” Cory stared at him, tears forming thicker. “ He told you it was your fault Shay is dead?” Cory knew how important Shay had been to the Egyptian, but Clint was like the man’s brother. Would he really blame him…?
    “It doesn’t fucking matter what he said,” Clint insisted. “He was just calling it like it is. I fucked up and I know it. You can thank him for capping Venetti. I had considered letting him live – that’s how fucked I was in the head! He set up you and Shay –and I was gonna fucking let him live! ”
    “Why?” Cory whispered.
    Exhaling hard, Clint shook his head. “It doesn’t fucking matter why , Corrigan. That motherfucker got Shay killed. And you almost killed. Letting him breathe another fucking second should have never been an option.”
    “So what…” Cory choked quietly. “You…you went back to Axel’s place? Is that where you were? What did you do, Uncle Clint?”
    Clint dragged his hand down his face, his eyes like stone. “I told you. I fixed the problem.”
    “So you… left him?” Cory stared at him, tears forming a wall, barely holding. “You just walked away and…and left him alone?”
    “His stepbrother is with him,” Clint informed. “And his boyfriend. Axel isn’t alone.”
    “And you think dumping Axel is the answer?” Cory asked brokenly. “You think that’s just going to magically fix everything?” He choked on a sob. “Shay is still dead. It won’t bring him back. You’re not fixing anything, Uncle Clint –you’re breaking it! ”
    “It was a fucking illusion, Corrigan! That is not who I am!” Clint’s lips tightened fiercely. “Even I didn’t recognize myself anymore.”
    Cory trembled, tears slipping loose. “Well maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing.”
    “What?” Clint stared at him hard.
    “Fuck,” Cory choked. “For as long as I’ve known you, Uncle Clint, you’ve lived inside some fucking steel shell. You didn’t let anyone in. Even me, you only allowed to see a shallow glimpse of who you are. But Axel…” he swallowed thickly. “…You let him see your heart…let him touch it. He is special , Uncle Clint, and you know it. You can’t walk away from him.”
    Clint looked at him, his eyes dull…empty. “It’s already done.”
    “You’re scared,” Cory whispered with a tremor to his voice. “It scares the fuck out of you that he walked right through your defenses and there was nothing you could do to stop him. And maybe what scares you the most is that you didn’t want to stop him. You liked how it felt to hold him so close to your heart.”
    His breath quick, uneven, Clint said tightly, “He was an unnecessary distraction.”
    Cory stared at him. “In our world,” he said quietly. “We all need a distraction to remind us we’re still human.” Clint looked away as Cory added, “And he wasn’t unnecessary. Whether you admit it or not, you know it’s the truth. If I’d had any doubts before about how necessary he was to you…they disappeared when you came running the night he was attacked.” Tears slid down his face as he watched the cowboy evade his gaze. “And you of all people, Uncle Clint, don’t come running to the defense of those you deem unnecessary.”
     
    ♦
     
    Had he expected anything less from Cory? The young man had practically been cheering him on in his pursuit of Axel. But why was it so difficult for Cory to see what a mistake it was? For everyone involved.
    He didn’t need Cory punching it home how good it felt to be with Axel. Clint needed to forget . He walked away from the bed and returned to the window, struggling for control as his throat knotted and his eyes burned. He needed Cory to understand that this was how it had to be. A man