believe Jessalyn is that girl?"
He moaned in frustration. "I don't know. I suppose she must be. Milton led me to her. She's the right height.
Her hair is as I remember. Her face… Well, the lighting in the ballroom was poor, and I'd already danced with more than a dozen girls, and I'll admit I'd had a glass or two of champagne. It must be her. And yet…"
"And yet?" I prodded, when I realized he didn't intend to go on.
"I thought that when I saw her, it would be as magical as it was at the ball. That I'd recognize her immediately, like being struck by lightning."
"But it wasn't."
"Not even close."
He sat down on the one chair in the room, his
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elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. I'd never seen him look so beaten.
I had to tell him the truth. Whatever Jessalyn had said to me in the carriage was irrelevant. I couldn't lie to him any longer. I was terrified—my heart hammered painfully inside my chest, and my palms began to sweat—
but I knew it was the right thing to do.
"Sire?" My voice shook. "What if I told you that you're right? That Jessalyn isn't the right girl."
He looked up at me, his eyes bright with hope.
"You know who she is?"
I do. That's what I tried to say, but the words wouldn't come out. He was watching me expectantly, and I forced myself to nod.
"Go on."
"This will sound crazy, but—"
"For heaven's sake, Eldon! Tell me!"
I took a deep breath and said, "It was me. I traded the fish you left me to the witch, and she turned me into a girl for one night so I'd have a chance to say goodbye."
My words seemed to echo in the silence. He was
looking right at me, and I saw the series of emotions cross his face—surprise, and then confusion, and then his eyes hardened in a way I'd never seen before. "I suppose you think that's funny," he said as he stood up and turned away 85
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from me. "It's easy for you to joke. It's not your life!"
He didn't believe me. Of course he didn't. Why
would he? It was utterly absurd.
I opened my mouth to speak. I could convince him.
I could recount that evening, and the dance, and the conversation we'd had. That's all it would take.
But then I thought forward to what would come
once he did believe me.
He could not marry me. The girl he longed for
would still be gone. Jessalyn was right about one thing: if he chose not to marry her, we'd likely both be sent away, and he'd be forever out of my reach. I'd never see him again. The thought caused my breath to catch in my throat.
I couldn't bear to leave him now.
If he married Jess, I'd at least be with him. I'd still have his friendship. My temporary resolve to tell him the truth died in my chest. Being with him in any capacity was more important to me.
"I'm sorry, sire," I said, deliberately using a title instead of his name. "I shouldn't have made light of the situation. I was only trying to make you laugh."
He took a deep breath and let it out in a rush. His shoulders fell, and when he turned to look at me, he was almost smiling. "Don't call me 'sire'."
"Yes, sire."
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He laughed sheepishly. "You won't tell her what I've said, will you?"
He could have ordered me not to speak of it.
Instead, he was asking for my silence. Asking me to keep his secret, as if we were equals. Asking as my friend. "I would never betray you." I wondered if he could hear my love for him in those few words.
He crossed the room to put his hand on my
shoulder. He looked down into my eyes. "You're a good friend, Eldon," he said. "It will be worth marrying your cousin to keep you near."
I ducked my head so he wouldn't see how his words affected me. I didn't know if the feeling welling up inside my chest was joy or anguish. I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. My eyes ached with unshed tears, and I shut them tight in an effort to keep them at bay.
It would be worth seeing her married to him, if it allowed me moments like this.
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