Free Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook by June Hunt

deception:

“There is no fear of God before his eyes. For in his own eyes he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his sin. The words of his mouth are wicked and deceitful; he has ceased to be wise and to do good. Even on his bed he plots evil; he commits himself to a sinful course and does not reject what is wrong”
    (P SALM 36:1-4).
H OW D O P ERPETRATORS P LAY “ THE G UILT G AME ”?
    After an act of sexual abuse, victimizers fear being found out. They seek to shift the blame to the victim by unloading a truckful of guilt. This strategy is a game.
    Most games are fun, and most games require some level of strategy. In the case of child abuse, perpetrators use one of the most powerful weapons in existence—guilt. In fact, most perpetrators possess an expertise at playing the guilt game—a game of deceit. For victims, this game is not fun; it is cruel. The Bible says, “Deceit [is] in the hearts of those who plot evil” (Proverbs 12:20).

    — “If you share our secret, it will break my heart. They won’t let me see you again; I will kill myself.”

    — “If you share our secret, Mother’s feelings will be so hurt. She won’t understand; she will leave us.”

    — “If you share our secret, your mother will divorce me. Our family will be destroyed, and it will be your fault.”

    — “If you share our secret, I’ll tell them you wanted it, you started it. No one will believe you.”

    — “If you share our secret, I won’t love you anymore. I will kill the family, and I will kill you.”
W HAT A RE THE D O ’ S AND D ON ’ TS OF A WARENESS ?
    When it comes to abuse of any kind, too many people become like an ostrich, hiding their heads in the sands of denial. Although it is terribly hard to do, facing the truth that child abuse is taking place is the first step to healing. Take comfort in the fact that “when justice is done, it brings joy to the righteous but terror to evildoers” (Proverbs 21:15).
Do’s 2
    — Be aware child abuse is illegal, a crime, and must be reported.
     
    — Be aware children are usually abused by people they know.

    — Be aware children seldom lie about abuse.
     
    — Be aware most often, physical abuse is violent, but sexual abuse may not be.

    — Be aware children may deny or change their stories because of fear.
     
    — Be aware sexual abuse is progressive and will get worse if not stopped.
Don’ts
    — Don’t be in denial, no matter how difficult it is to believe what you hear.
     
    — Don’t assume that if it happened only once, it is not serious.

    — Don’t minimize the abuse.
     
    — Don’t let the offender go without confrontation.

    — Don’t blame other family members.
     
    — Don’t keep abuse a family secret.
W HAT D O Y OU D O F IRST ?
If You Suspect Child Abuse
    Seek the help of a professional who is trained to work with children to…
Verify or to relieve your suspicions
    — Contact a child advocacy program to discuss your concerns privately.
     
    — Consider having someone there do an evaluation of the child and make recommendations as to a course of action.
Further inform yourself (not in the presence of the child)
    — Contact Child Protective Services.
     
    — Contact a family attorney.

    — Contact a shelter for women and children.
     
    — Contact a pastor or spiritual leader.

    — Contact the local police or a law enforcement agency.
     
    — Contact the local district attorney’s office.

“A wise man has great power, and a man of knowledge increases strength; for waging war you need guidance, and for victory many advisers”
    (P ROVERBS 24:5-6).
If a Child Discloses Abuse
    Stay calm.
    — Take time to sensitively answer any questions from the child.
     
    — Be available to the child at all times.

    — Remain with the child, and leave the child only with another adult whom you and the child trust.
     
    — Respect the privacy of the child from those who have no need to know.

    — Make no promises you can’t keep,