Free Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook by June Hunt Page B

wrong! You must tell me or someone you trust.”

    — “If a person does not stop touching you, say, ‘I’ll tell if you don’t stop!’ Then when you are safe from harm, tell me or another trusted person about what happened.”

    — “If you are asked to keep the touching a secret, do not be afraid. Tell anyway.”

    — “If you try to report something wrong and a trusted adult does not believe you, keep telling no matter how embarrassed you feel—keep telling until someone believes you.”

“If sinners entice you, do not give in to them”
(P ROVERBS 1:10).

----
    In child abuse, “the secret”—knowing a child won’t tell—
is the perpetrator’s most powerful weapon.
God’s strategy is to surface the secret…
the truth is what sets us free.
    —JH

----
Your Scripture Prayer Project
    Psalm 34:18

    Psalm 30:2

    Lamentations 3:22-23

    Isaiah 43:18-19

    Romans 12:19

    Ephesians 4:32

    2 Corinthians 5:17

    Jeremiah 29:11

    Psalm 107:21

    Philippians 4:7

----
For additional guidance on this topic, see also Anger, Depression, Fear, Forgiveness, Guilt, Hope, Identity, Manipulation, Marriage, Rejection, Self-worth, Verbal and Emotional Abuse, Victimization and other related topics.
----

Balancing an Unbalanced Relationship
    I t’s an addiction—not to drugs or alcohol, but to a relationship. One person is perceived as emotionally weak, needing to be connected to someone emotionally strong, and one is perceived as emotionally strong, but is actually weak due to a need to be needed. Both are in denial.
    Sometimes roles change, yet codependency is characterized by intense highs and lows as the pair negotiates the unbalanced relationship as though stuck on a seesaw—from one high to another…first suffocating one another…then distancing from each other…producing a destructive pattern of manipulation and control that drains life’s joy and happiness. Dependency on God, not another person, is the remedy for such relationship addiction.

“Avoid all extremes”
    (E CCLESIASTES 7:18).
H OW D O Y OU I DENTIFY A C ODEPENDENT R ELATIONSHIP ?
    You could be in a codependent relationship if you:

    — Feel a loss of personal identity

    — Violate your conscience

    — Have difficulty establishing healthy, intimate relationships

    — Struggle with low self-worth

    — Control and manipulate

    — Have difficulty setting boundaries

    — Become jealous and possessive

    — Fear abandonment

    — Experience extreme ups and downs

    — Have a false sense of security

    — Have another addiction besides the relationship

    — Feel trapped in the relationship
H OW D O Y OU O VERCOME C ODEPENDENCY ?
    In an out-of-balance relationship, both individuals wind up in the ditch of codependency—a place detrimental to your relationships with God and others.
    God wants you to depend on Him—to totally rely upon Him. He wants you to trust Him to meet all your needs, take care of your loved ones, and overcome destructive dependencies. Here are four sizable steps to set your feet on the path to recovery and your heart on the hope of healthy relationships.
Step #1: Confront Your Codependency
Confront the Fact You Are Codependent 1
    Admit the truth…

    — to yourself.

    — to a trustworthy person who will hold you accountable to change.
     
    — to God.

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective”
    (J AMES 5:16).
Confront the Consequences
    Accept responsibility for…

    — how your past experiences and reactions have hurt your relationships.

    — the pain you have caused yourself by being jealous, envious, selfish, or obsessive.
     
    — the ways in which your codependency has weakened your relationship with God and caused you to lose both quantity and quality time with the Lord and intimacy with Him.

“He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy”
    (P ROVERBS