Free Dear Lover by David Deida Page B

heart to open and feel all, breathing all. Feel alive as all, breathing as the yearning that opens at all hearts.
    Soften your body so your heart can actively breathe the openness of this moment. This moment exists as openness. Feel the actual aliveness of thismoment, living within you, living as you, and living all around you. This moment is alive as love, as openness.
    As if you were soaking in an ocean of love, relax open your throat, heart, belly, and genitals to receive love’s saturation. Lovingly melt your heart and body open as the fullness of this moment.
    With practice, you learn to breathe and feel the love alive as the universe and the yearning at the heart of all beings. You learn to melt open and receive every moment’s love-fullness into your whole body. In response, your natural gesture is to offer yourself open as love, as a lover gives herself to her beloved. It is as if God were making love with you and you were offering all of yourself open to God.
    Right now, are you receiving this moment’s divine ravishment down to your love-splayed toes? Are you offering your body as a sacred gift, surrendering your deep heart fully to be claimed by love’s earthly embodiment?
    To attract a man of heart-depth and inspire his fullness, you must be offering yours.

15
Why Men Hold Back

    Many times, I have heard you tell me that you can’t feel me fully with you, truly seeing you and loving you. But I do love you. I can feel my love for you, and I can feel your love for me.

    Yet, I also have to admit that there are times when you seem untrustable to me. You tell me one thing, and then change your mind the next moment. You seem so happy, and then suddenly, for no apparent reason, you seem upset. Sometimes I can stay fully with you while your emotions confound me, but often I pull back.

    I wait for you to calm down. Or, I try to talk with you about how you feel so I can understand the problem and deal with it. My attempts to listen to you, however, don’t seem to matter too much, because the same thing happens again. I lose trust in what you say because it often seems to change, and I hold back so I don’t get too angry with what I feel are your groundless words and extreme moods.

    Through the years, however, we have grown. You have learned to allow your deep yearning to open through all your changing emotions. So now it is easier for me to feel your true heart’s desire, not just your surface words and changes. I have learned to really stay in touch and feel your deepest heart without getting diverted by what you say or do on the outside.

    I practice to feel your deepest yearning and see your true heart’s light while you say and do everything. Without holding back from you to find peace in my own distance, I am awed by the depth of your love. Your fully shown light awakens my heart to the love shining open as every moment.
    If a man has a masculine essence, then when he feels most deeply into his heart, he discovers a cognizant beingness that is the nature of this present moment. If you want a deep relationship with a man, then it is worth understanding this unchanging and ever-present consciousness, this “home” where a man knows who he truly is.
    This deepest place of being is consciousness itself, which is divine love. From this deep place a man witnesses the passing drama of life. Rested open as this unchanging depth of love, your man is “already dead,” so he has nothing to gain or lose that will make any fundamental difference. He can give everything to the world and to you without fear and without holding back. He is not repelled or distracted by your emotional wildness and life’s turmoil because he stands free in depth, offering his deepest love as the moments come and go.
    Most men have yet to feel their deepest heart of free consciousness. They can’t feel their deepest purpose, and so they can’t offer their deepest gifts of love, to you or the world. To you, these men feel superficial