Free Dear Lover by David Deida

radiance—surfing, hiking, skiing—or he’ll choose to relax with the energy of music or a soothing beer rather than with your untrusting heart.
    Due to your shells of mistrust, you may have chosen a man who can’t guide your body and heart open to God better than you, directing your life so love’s fullness flows unimpeded. Maybe you are better at opening yourself than he is at opening you. If so, you are better off trusting your self-guidance than his.
    But if you are with such a man, you have chosen him. You have probably come to mistrust external masculine guidance—perhaps you inherited such mistrust from your experience with your parents or past intimate betrayal—and so you have chosen a man who justifies your fearful need to direct your own life.
    Your man will feel your lack of trust and you will feel the weakness of his loving command in your life. You can love each other as two independent and self-responsible people, but you will never surrender open in love’s most blissful dissolution and he will never commit himself completely in his claim of your heart. You would do better to stay in a safe relationship of two self-reliant and autonomous people than to fake devotion to a man’s direction that you do not trust more than yours.
    But if you are ready to live a love larger than one body, if you are ready to trust a man’s deep presence to wedge you open so the flow of love can open your boundaries beyond self-centered moods of protection, then you are ready to practice the art of fully offering your feminine gifts, and thereby fully reciprocating your lover’s masculine gifts. Your heart-offered devotion inspires his deep consciousness to open through his fears more than he would open by himself.
    You always attract your reciprocal. A woman who worships a man’s depth of masculine consciousness attracts and inspires a man who worships herheart of devotional feminine radiance. The openness you induce in one another through your worship expands your capacity to love far beyond each of your bodies, beyond even your two-bodied ecstasy, unfolding your love outward to infinity, feeling every heart’s yearning, breathing open wider than the moon and sun and stars. Your sexual embrace can open you to God through the loving worship of masculine consciousness and feminine light.

14
You Attract Your Reciprocal

    When I feel the openness of your heart, I can feel how closed I have been to love. The softness of your body invites me to relax open and feel you. And when I feel you, the depth of your yearning calls the depth of my desire for you. I want to enter you as deeply and passionately as I feel your heart yearning to be entered, and I want to open you even more deeply with my love.

    But when your yearning heart is hidden behind the tense cover of your body, then it is easy for me to continue on my way, doing my duties, accomplishing my tasks, or resting alone, without you. I can’t fully see your heart’s light through the hardness of your demeanor. I can’t really feel your heart’s longing for love, only your desire to get something done. I assume you want to be left alone to do what you need to do. So, I don’t touch your hurried body or infiltrate your shell of doing with my love.

    I have learned that sometimes, even though you don’t show it, your heart actually does want to be touched by my love beneath your headlong actions. So, I have learned to take a moment and slow down with you when the time feels right, pressing my love into you, until you soften and open your heart, before continuing with your day. And you have learned to do the same for me, dear lover.

    But I wonder if you are aware of how significantly your current disposition affects my heart’s desire to enter you and my body’s desire to touch you in love. Your yearning heart opens a love-depth in my otherwise surface day and calls me to feel into your deep longing, inviting my desire to open with you as love’s surrender.

    But