The Offer
to do that?”
    “I don’t want
to live next door to a bitch, I guess.”
    I actually
laugh at that. “Fair enough.”
    He sticks his
hands in his pockets and peers down at me. “So, what do you say? Do
you think you and Ava will be comfortable in a nice building, south
of Market? Rent free, take the time to get a job, get a handle on
things?”
    It sounds too
good to be true. I hesitate.
    “Can I think
about it?”
    “Of course,”
he says. He looks at his watch. “I better be on my way. You do have
my card right? You didn’t spit on it and throw it out?”
    “I still have
it.”
    “Good. Because
if I don’t hear from you over the next few days, I will have to
find someone else. I don’t want to have to show up here unannounced
again. And I’m guessing you’re not about to give me your phone
number either.”
    “I’ll call
you,” I tell him and this time I know I will.
    I just don’t
know what I’m going to say.
     
    ***
     
    After Bram
leaves, I take my time to think about it. Actually, I don’t take
that much time at all. Ava wakes up from her nap and though she’s
lively and happy as ever – as if last night never even happened –
she also asks if she’ll have to get the needle tomorrow. I can’t
lie to her. I tell her the needle has medicine that will keep her
strong and healthy, so she can turn into a big girl. She seems to
understand but…it’s still something I can’t wrap my head
around.
    Giving her the
injection earlier was also a challenge and if Steph wasn’t with me,
I don’t think I could have done it. It doesn’t seem right putting
your child in pain, even though it’s the only way from now on, even
if it’s what will help her in the end.
    But as proud
as I am, as much as I want to turn down Bram’s offer, I honestly
can’t. For Ava’s sake, I can’t. My pride must be swallowed if she’s
going to have a shot at life. Living rent-free would save me $1000
a month. If I put that money into food and medicine, we could get
by. It wouldn’t be fun, but I could do it. And that’s before I even
get a job. I know I can’t afford to be too picky about that either,
but I decided to give it another week just to see if I really can
shoot for something that pays well and in my field. It’s a
longshot, but I have to try.
    I make us both
some sliced avocado on whole-grain bread (the doctor said the way
I’d been feeding her – low in sugar – was excellent and to keep it
up. It’s nice to know that at least I didn’t bring it upon her). We
sit down on the couch and I read a picture book to Ava between
bites. Somewhere in the building I can hear a couple arguing
loudly. The neighbor above me has a shower – the pipes rattle the
walls. To think I could be out of this place, one foot out of the
mess, one foot toward my future.
    I just really
hope there’s nothing else that is owed for this. That Bram doesn’t
expect anything from me. I hadn’t really thought I’d be his sex
slave. I just wanted to poke fun at his manwhore ways, but even so
I have a hard time believing that I won’t be in debt to him in the
end. The thought of owing something, anything, to a man like that
is a scary one.
    And I hate
that I find it kind of exciting as well.
    I stare at my
phone on the coffee table. I could call Steph and get her opinion,
but in the end, it’s not going to change anything. I know already
what has to be done.
    I fish out the
card, pick up my phone and dial.
    “Hello,
Bram?”
     
    ***
     
    “I can’t
believe you’re doing this,” Steph says to me as she walks into my
near empty apartment and hands me a giant cup of coffee she just
picked up from Bluebottle. I slurp it back, even though it burns my
lips and throat as we survey the place.
    It’s Saturday
morning and just over a week after I told Bram I accepted his offer
to move into his apartment complex. My landlord was angry at my
short notice but he was angry to begin with, so that didn’t make
much difference. With Steph,

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