Free Blubber by Judy Blume Page B

finished with her lips and started in on her eyes. Mom isn’t fussy about anything but her hair. She held a pocket mirror up so she could see the back of it. When she was satisfied she put her comb away and took out a little jar of lip gloss. She rubbed some into her lips. Itmade them shine. Then she turned to Mrs. Fischer and said, “You look so familiar … have we met?”
    I wanted to grab my mother’s hand and pull her out of the Ladies’ Room before it was too late. Of all people, why did she have to start up with Mrs. Fischer?
    “I was just thinking the same thing,” Mrs. Fischer said.
    “Where are you from?” Mom asked.
    “We live outside of Philadelphia.”
    “So do we!” Mom said. “In Radnor.”
    “Well … that’s how we must know each other. I live there too … in Hidden Valley.”
    “This is a coincidence!” Mom said. “We live right near there … off Crestview Drive.”
    “Isn’t this something?” Mrs. Fischer said, “to meet here … of all places.”
    “Are you related to the Winklers?” Mom asked Mrs. Fischer.
    “No, Peg was my college roommate.”
    “And my husband grew up with Harold.”
    “This is just so funny!”
    I didn’t think it was funny at all.
    “I’m Ann Brenner,” Mom said, offering her hand to Mrs. Fischer. “And this is my daughter, Jill.”
    Mrs. Fischer shook Mom’s hand and smiledat me. Any second now they’re going to introduce me to Blubber, I thought.
    “I’m Janice Fischer and this is my daughter, Linda.”
    Here it comes!
    “You two must know each other,” Mom said.
    “We do,” I mumbled.
    “Oh … are you the Jill Brenner in Linda’s class?” Mrs. Fischer asked.
    That did it! “Yes,” I said, “but …”
    “Mom!” Linda tugged at her mother’s arm. “Come on …”
    When they were gone my mother asked, “What was that all about?”
    And I told her, “We’re not exactly friends.”

14
“I’d rather be a skeleton
than a whale.”
    We wound up at Table One, sitting next to each other, of course, and right across the table from Kenny. Everyone else sitting there looked about thirteen. They were all friends of Warren’s. None of them spoke to us.
    I told Linda, “Just because I’m sitting next to you doesn’t mean anything is different. I know what you did.” I wanted to let her know I’d figured out she was the one who told Mr. Machinist on me and Tracy. “And just wait till Wendy finds out!”
    “Finds out what?”
    “You know.”
    “No, I don’t!”
    “You’re not even a good liar!” I told her.
    “Neither are you.”
    “I’m not lying!”
    “Well, neither am I.”
    The waitress served our first course then. It was chunks of fruit in a pineapple boat. It looked pretty but I don’t eat stuff like pineapple in public because the threads get caught in my teeth and make me very uncomfortable. It’s the same with celery. I did find two pieces of melon though, before I passed the rest to Kenny.
    Next came the soup, which would have been all right except for the vegetables. I don’t like vegetables. When Mrs. Sandmeier makes us soup she strains mine so I won’t know what I’m eating. Kenny finished my soup too.
    While we were waiting for our main course Kenny asked Linda if she believes in ESP. She told him, “Yes … and reincarnation too.”
    “So do I,” Kenny said.
    Then they had this long conversation about what they were in their other lives and I muttered,
A smelly whale
and Linda said, “If you call me that today I’ll tell on you. I really will.”
    I felt like asking her if Mr. Machinist found out about me and Tracy by ESP or did she meet him face to face and identify us that way?
    But Kenny was reciting one of his dumb jokes and right in the middle Linda laughed! I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t know she knew how.
    Our main course was rare roast beef, a tomato stuffed with green peas and funny potatoes in some kind of milky sauce. I hate tomatoes, peas make me choke, and I can’t