Free The Last Novel by David Markson Page A

allegations of abducting and molesting a girl of thirteen.
    Q. Who is the Buddha?
    A. Three pounds of flax.
    After a performance, Queen Victoria once ventured to inform Paderewski that he was a genius.
    To which: Perhaps, Your Majesty. But before that I was a drudge.
    The word nihilism.
    Coined by Turgenev, for use in Fathers and Sons.
    The next night he did not know where he was, did not feel the cold. The wind blew dust along the ground and into his mouth as he sang.
    Nelson, at Trafalgar. Who had a horseshoe nailed to the mainmast of the Victory before the battle.
    Niels Bohr — who kept one above a door in his vacation home.
    Niels Bohr.
    I would rather have a drop of luck than a barrel of brains.
    Allegedly said Diogenes.
    Franco Zeffirelli’s Taming of the Shrew. In which Zeffirelli’s name in the credits was larger than Shakespeare’s.
    Please return this book. I find that though many of my friends are poor mathematicians, they are nearly all good bookkeepers.
    Read Walter Scott’s bookplate.
    January 14, 2005, Victoria de los Angeles died on.
    Ivor Gurney, who was both wounded and gassed at Passchendaele, spent the last fifteen of his remaining twenty years in a mental institution — convinced that the war was still going on.
    Italo Calvino died after a cerebral hemorrhage suffered while sitting in a garden.
    A portable fatherland, Heine called the Torah.
    From a letter of Petrarch’s, ca. 1352, in which he mentions having been reminded of some task or other by the town clock:
    By this recent invention we now measure time in almost all of the cities of northern Italy.
    Eliot’s second marriage, in 1957, took place in the same Kensington church where Jules Laforgue had been married seventy-one years earlier — which Eliot claimed not to have known beforehand.
    How can 59,054,087 People Be So Dumb?
    Asked the principal headline in the London Daily Mirror after the reelection of George W. Bush in 2004.
    G. E. Moore was known to appear at his Cambridge classroom in bedroom slippers.
    Father, dear father, come home with me now!
    The clock in the steeple strikes one.
    I don’t go upstairs two nights out of seven without taking Washington Irving under my arm.
    Said Dickens.
    Actually, the door to Novelist’s roof is connected to an alarm. Workmen unable to locate the building superintendent now and again trip it. No one pays any attention, however.
    Jean Giraudoux spent two very brief periods, when young, as an instructor at Harvard.
    And for years thereafter kept a Harvard pennant above the bed in his Paris apartment.
    The writer Bret Easton Ellis, who imparted to a New York Times reporter that he had been reading the Bible — but then seemed uncertain as to whether in the Old Testament or the New.
    Were the stories about Moses or Jesus?
    Jesus. I think.
    The frequent blind beggars in Euripides, particularly in plays now lost.
    The crutch and cripple playwright, Aristophanes called him.
    August Strindberg’s mother had been a barmaid.
    The marriage of Roberta Peters and Robert Merrill — which lasted three months.
    The Greatest Novel Reader in the World.
    Elizabeth Barrett Browning suggested her own epitaph could well be.
    Jean-Michel Basquiat died of a heroin overdose. At twenty-seven.
    Sir Thomas Bodley, who organized the Oxford library subsequently named the Bodleian, permitted the inclusion of no such idle bookes and riffe raffes — unquote — as writings for the current theater.
    Including of course those of his almost exact contemporary Shakespeare.
    Allen Ginsberg’s insistence that he was once accosted by the apparitional voice of William Blake — immediately after masturbating.
    How now! Whose mare’s dead?
    The extraordinary fame of Menander in antiquity — to the point where he is even quoted by Saint Paul.
    Robert Graves’ claim that as an infant at Wimbledon he had been occasionally patted on the head by Swinburne — he himself being wheeled by his nurse, Swinburne en route to his