Free Finding My Forever by Heidi McLaughlin Page B

chords.
    “Do you know how I found out about Noah?”
    “No,” I say. Liam kept Noah a secret from us for a while after he found out about him. Harrison and I never understood why, but I think it’s because he was afraid that Josie was going to take him away.
    “I was having a meltdown over Mason’s death and everything was closing in. I was minutes away from saying ‘fuck it’. Instead, I got on my bike and started driving and ended up at this sports museum we have in the next town. Walking in was a mistake because there I was, staring back at myself. I was being mocked by the cocky teenager that I was and there wasn’t shit I could do about it.
    “I could hear the crowds cheering in my head. I could remember every pass I had thrown to Mason and every touchdown I had. All these memories came flooding back and it was the sound of laughter that broke me. I ran to the bathroom to hide because I didn’t want to be recognized.
    “When I came out, this boy… this shaggy haired boy was crying and I thought he was being bullied and remembered that Mason and I beat the crap out of some kid in high school for bullying someone who was weaker than us. I felt rage boiling inside of me. Do you know what I did?”
    I shake my head.
    “I spoke to him and he told me that he wasn’t allowed to speak to strangers and I thought ‘wow, what a smart kid’. It was when he said he’d seen me kissing his mom that I knew. I tried to play it off, but one look and it was obvious. One look into his eyes and I saw her, the one I left behind. I knew I had fucked up so badly that I’d never be forgiven. I knew that I was never leaving Beaumont again because I had a son whether this boy knew I was his dad or not. I would’ve stayed in the background just to watch him grow up, but I would’ve been there.”
    “Josie loves you, Liam.”
    “I promised her the world when we were in high school. I knew she was my girl, but when I went to college, shit was bad and I freaked out. If Mason hadn’t died I wouldn’t know my son.”
    “You shouldn’t think like that, man. I’m sure she would’ve found you.” I know he said that he and Josie are fine, but I’m starting to think otherwise. Why is he going on about him and Noah like this when they’re a family? When they seem to have everything going for them?
    “Jenna’s pregnant and doesn’t want to tell the baby’s father even though I think she’s making a mistake. I told her that the dad has a right to know.”
    I play a few chords, working out a melody. “I didn’t know she had a boyfriend. Why doesn’t she want to tell him?”
    “I don’t know, something about him not being father material and they’re not together.”
    I take my guitar off and put it on its stand. I rub my hands down my legs. “I’m sure she’ll come around.”
    “I don’t think she will. She won’t even tell us who the dad is.”
    “How many weeks is she?” I don’t know why I’m asking, but I need to know.
    “She’s past her first trimester. I didn’t know what that meant so I looked it up before I came down here. She got pregnant sometime around the wedding. A one-night stand with a lasting memory.”
    I swallow hard and stand up. I don’t have anything else to add to the conversation. I have no idea why women make the decisions they do, but I do understand why Liam is upset. He missed out on a lot where his son is concerned. No one should have to experience what he did, unless it’s by choice.
     
    I sit outside, replaying Liam’s words over and over in my head. Jenna’s pregnant . The way he opened up about him and Noah really struck a chord with me. Liam always wanted to be a father. I know my mum wanted me, but my dad… he couldn’t have cared less.
    I light a cigarette, blowing the smoke into the cool night air. I make smoke rings to entertain myself while I try to work out how to get Jenna outside. I should just go to her room and kidnap her. That would be exciting and slightly