Free How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers by Max Booth III

have any money.”
    BRIBERY.
    “Or, another option, we never let them go. We keep them forever, as our prisoners.”
    LIFETIME IMPRISONMENT.
    “Holy shit, that’s fucked up,” Eliza said.
    Stephen buried his face in his hands.
    Louise sat up straight. “I already suggested that, but nobody was down, man. I even thought we could use their bones as Halloween decorations. Smart, right?”
    Nick nodded, knowing how insane they all sounded and not knowing what to do about it. Some days were crazier than other days, and today was definitely an ‘everything is batshit’ kind of day. Half of him felt like he was still asleep. None of this was real. His body moved on autopilot while his mind drifted to the clouds.
    “I don’t know,” Nick said. “Maybe we could take them to Sergio’s uncle’s cabin. Hell.”
    “And the other options?” Eliza asked.
    “Well.” Nick paused a moment, not believing what he was about to say. “We could kill them.”
    On the board, he wrote: MURDER.
    Stephen vomited all over the table. Everybody screamed.

20. HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL
    Lewis hadn’t intended to murder his wife. Sure, he’d killed people in the past, no problem, but his wife was never supposed to become a victim. In fact, he loved his wife. She was the most beautiful woman on the planet. He would have done anything for her. But then she discovered the videos he’d saved on his laptop, and after that she found the severed heads in the basement, so yeah, obviously he had to kill her. Sometimes these things happened.
    If he hadn’t come home from work early that day, he would probably be in prison right now. Helga would have undoubtedly called the police, if she’d been given a chance. But fate had other plans. Work ended early that day due to some bogus Ebola scare tactics puked out by the media, so Lewis drove home, thinking he’d surprise his wife in bed, make love to her, then take her out for a nice meal. Except when he came home, he couldn’t find her. He looked everywhere. She was gone. He went into his office—despite the fact that she knew she wasn’t allowed in there—and of course he didn’t find her there. But he did notice his laptop was powered on, and on the screen played one of his homemade snuff films.
    He froze. As fast as a tree branch snapping, everything was ruined. The life he’d worked so hard to build was destroyed. Now he’d have to leave, get as far away as he could, and make a new life. He’d always expected this would happen, but not so soon. He needed more time to plan, more time to spend with his wife, whom he loved.
    She wasn’t supposed to die now. She was never supposed to die.
    He found her in the basement. She was going through the deep freezer he stored his deer meat in. All the deer meat was now on the floor, and she was standing above the freezer, staring at its other contents.
    The heads.
    Lewis thought about saying something, thought about apologizing. But it would have only made what he had to do that much more difficult. His life was already difficult enough, thank you.
    He calmly tiptoed down the basement steps, walked up to his wife, and slit her throat. When the life had drained out of her and the tears had drained out of him, he collected one of his saws and proceeded to add a new, unexpected addition to his head collection.
    Before he left, Lewis stored his heads in a duffle bag and hid the bag in the trunk of his car. He didn’t know how much distance he could gain before someone discovered his wife’s headless corpse, but he was willing to bet he’d at least make it across state lines, if not farther. His wife wasn’t exactly the most social type, plus she was unemployed, so there was no real reason to panic just yet. The only flaw in this plan was Helga’s obnoxious bitch of a mother, who talked to her on the phone at least once a day. After a few days of not answering her calls, she’d either send someone to the house or fly down herself. Then the shit would