Free It's a Guy Thing by David Deida Page A

feminine force. It’s not merely physical attraction, although that’s a part of it. The attractive elements of the feminine force include radiance, sensuality, love, healing, spontaneous delight and creative energy. We all must learn to honor this part of ourselves.
    As a woman, the more you are able to allow yourself to relax into your feminine dimension, the more you will attract a man who will reciprocate with his masculine strength. He will be full in his masculine integrity, direction, humor, passion and persistence in love. And he will honor you as an embodiment of the feminine force of the Divine.

7
Dealing with a Difficult Man
     

Why Do Men Always Blame Women?
    To many men, the feminine is a force of distraction and any time a man is not fully living his vision he will blame it on his woman. Men have blamed women for virtually every negative circumstance on Earth, including lack of spiritual growth. In Hindu mythology, for instance, the force of distraction and illusion, Maya, is depicted as a woman.
    For many men, women are either glorious goddesses or evil sirens. Women are either the gift of radiance or a distraction. Men can switch from one of these perspectives to the other very quickly. When your man switches from seeing you as a goddess to seeing you as a distraction, it doesn’t feel good.
    You will notice that your man typically treats you as one or the other. He will say, “I love you. You are everything.” Or, he will be resentful, “You are distracting me from this. I give my attention to you instead of my work. Leave me alone. You are a burden to me.”
    This attitude is not unique to your relationship. Men resent women as distractions universally. Men cannot help, for instance, but be distracted by a radiant woman when she walks into the room. If a group of men are sitting around talking and a radiant woman walks in, things shift—their attention goes to the woman. It’s automatic. They are sexually polarized to her. Even when they are not going to act it out, an energetic sexual attraction and arousal occurs in most men many times a day. So men have an inherent distrust of the feminine—when there is a woman around, they are not going to be able to focus on their job. Their mind will not be clear.
    Time and time again, your man will blame you for any lack of clarity he feels. Even if you are totally supportive buthe is not strong enough to live his vision, he will still blame you. He will look at you and imagine he is constrained or compromised by your relationship together. He will resent you. It’s amazing how often this happens.
    It’s up to your man to cultivate his masculine energy, becoming strong in his clarity and vision. You can’t help him directly with this process. But you can continue loving and growing. You want to live your life in love, whether you stay with this partner or find a new one. When a man and woman are really committed to the practice of love in intimacy, they can suffer each other’s insults and continue growing.

    Why Isn’t My Man More Self-Directed?
    Some men have been told all their lives not to tell others what to do. Perhaps their parents inhibited their behavior. Perhaps they observed how family members were hurt by their father’s directiveness. Men like this have a tough time knowing their direction. As soon as they are ready to move they wonder, “Is it safe? Will I still be loved? Am I going to hurt someone?” They live their lives meekly because they don’t allow themselves to incarnate their full masculinity. And that includes a confident sense of direction.
    Sometimes a woman inadvertently weakens her man’s masculine energy. For instance, suppose your man is out in the world with his “sword.” He may be trying to make money. He may be absorbed in a creative project. He may be intensely practicing his spiritual exercises. Or he may be lifting weights. Regardless of what he is doing, he is very directed and very purposed.
    You feel his