Free It's a Guy Thing by David Deida Page B

attention absorbed in something other than you. You may say, “You are always working. You are always doing this, always doing that.” What he feels is, She doesn’t like me the way I am, as a man . He feels as if you are criticizing his masculine energy.
    If he feels that you are hurt by his masculine focus, he may suppress his masculine energy to try and give you the attention he thinks you want. But this never works; when he diminishes his masculine energy he also depolarizes the relationship.
    When you feel him absorbed in a project, try to gift him with your sensitivity by allowing yourself to feel into his life. Is your man following his heart’s desire? Is he not paying attention to you because he is focused on living his truth, or is he just being selfish? Allow him to follow his truth, but let him know when his selfishness hurts you. Temper his sword with your heart, but do not inadvertently condemn his masculine energy. If he tries to curb his need to follow his vision because he is afraid of your response, he will only weaken his sexual essence.
    If your man lacks self-direction, his masculine energy has probably become weakened or suppressed. This suppression may have happened during his childhood, or it may be occurring right now in your relationship. He must find, and align himself with, his own sense of direction. All you can really do for him is be aware of how your communications affect him. Are you empowering his masculine, or do your communications inadvertently cause him to weaken his sense of direction?

    Why Do I Attract Lazy Men?
    Sometimes your man’s masculine way of focusing on his projects and work hurts you. But at other times you are hurt by his lack of masculine energy. Let’s assume your man lazily watches TV all the time and has no real direction in his life. How did you end up with a man who has so little directional masculine energy?
    In most cases, a woman who has strong masculine energy would attract, and be attracted to, a man who has weakened masculine energy. If a more feminine woman got close to him, she wouldn’t feel much masculine strength and probably wouldn’t be attracted to him. However, a woman who possesses strong masculine energy would be attracted to a man with a weak masculine because his masculine energy would not overpower (or interfere, or detract) from her masculine energy.
    If you have chosen a man who does not have strong direction, try to examine your unconscious reasons for choosing such a man. Do you want to have your own way? Do you also want to be ravished by a man who loves you? You invite strong masculine love by relaxing in your strong feminine love, trusting your man’s directionality and inviting him into the realm of feeling with an open heart—without giving up your own true direction.

    What Can I Do When His Sex Drive Suddenly Disappears?
    If anything interrupts your man’s directionality, he will feel emasculated. His feeling of weakness will then affect his sexual drive and his passion toward you as a woman, because he has become depolarized as a man.
    A man’s sense of self-worth is deeply connected to his ability to persist or carry through with a goal. For instance, he is trying to write a novel and he can’t do it. He is trying to make money and something falls through. These kinds of things are more important for most men than their intimate relationships.
    For most women, the success of their intimate relationship is at the core of their life in one form or another. They also have many other aspects to their lives, but love or the lack of love is the main concern at the feminine core.
    For most men, however, their quest, purpose or mission is at their core. An intimate relationship may be an extremely important part of a man’s life, but at the core of his life is his quest—his quest for money, creativity, God or whatever. This quest takes precedence over everything else for the masculine.
    It is very natural for you to feel hurt,