Free ChristmasInHisHeart by Lee Brazil, Havan Fellows

with the mid-day sun beating down on him, and sweat beading on his brow, he’d been like a giant elf on holiday. Everything about him, from the joyful smile to the fact that he actually worked in a craft store screamed stay away, trouble on the hoof to Dermot.
    He’d learned to just avoid long-term relationships, and Xander had relationship written all over him, right next to I Believe in Christmas Magic and Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
    Well, Dermot Alasdair didn’t do Christmas, and he didn’t do relationships.
    A few days ago, he’d made the mistake of doing Xander. And that mistake would haunt him for a long time.
    It was the best thing to happen to you in a long time.
    He’s the best thing to happen to you in a long time.
    No.
    Not getting involved with someone so possessed of the Christmas spirit that he wears cherry red sweaters and a baseball cap that says Mistletoe.
    Never mind how good Xander’s hand on his arm had felt at the flea market, how reassuring his presence had been in the face of the leather-wearing dealer’s advances. Dermot could take care of himself. He’d been doing it for a very long time.
    It was better than piling the angsty memories with every boyfriend who broke up with him around the holidays on to the ever present memories of the house fire, his brother’s death, and the way it had destroyed his parents’ marriage and his family. At first, he’d been shocked how many grown men were addicted to gaudy displays of Christmas lights, how many people found a few holiday decorations worth breaking up over.
    But he’d come to accept it. What other choice did he have? The approaching footsteps stopped, and Xander’s green Vans parked themselves in view, inches from Dermot’s feet. Slinky instantly meowed loudly and altered her pattern, coiling in a dual figure eight from Dermot’s feet to Xander’s and back again.
    “I’m not really a grinch, you know.” He hadn’t intended to confess any such thing. It felt too much like explaining himself, and hadn’t he just spent what felt like a lifetime rationalizing how he didn’t need to do that?
     
    ***
     
    Xander bit his lip to stop the smile from forming. “I have no doubt that you aren't, well not many.” He lost the battle with his mouth and a grin spread across his face.
    He wasn’t sure if the joke or the amused look triggered Dermot’s prickle, but the man came at him full force.
    “Sure, go ahead and laugh, but some of us don’t have anything to smile about.” Dermot humphed then turned around, giving Xander his back.
    No matter how nice of a back it was, Xander very much wanted to look into the man’s bottomless green eyes. He wanted to put a little twinkle in them for the world to see…and he wanted the world to know that it was for him alone. When had Xander become so damn possessive?
    He closed the distance between them and leaned forward, almost resting his chin on the other man’s shoulder, thanks to their similar heights.
    “I can’t guarantee I won’t smile again. It’s my safe go-to for any emotions I may feel, but I can assure you that this thing between us is no laughing matter.”
    Xander closed the remaining distance between them with a small step, pressing his body against Dermot’s back.
    “Feel that?” he whispered over Dermot’s shoulder, rubbing his bulge against the other man’s ass. Fisting his ponytail, Xander jerked it to the side, exposing a succulent earlobe waiting to be tasted. After a quick nip he slightly pulled his lips away. “That’s what happens when I think about you. When I see you, hear your voice, hell, even when I smell you all my blood runs south. You star in all my dreams—whether I’m sleeping or awake.”
    Xander stepped back and spun Dermot around so they were finally eye to eye. Staring into those beautiful green peepers, Xander saw Dermot’s signature stubbornness, but hiding behind the gruffness was fear and unsurety.
    There were secrets hidden in this man that