Free Florence of Arabia by Christopher Buckley Page B

Osama sitting in front of his cave looking in dire need of a new kidney. But then one can always"—he pressed the button on an imaginary remote control—"see what is on the History Channel. There is always another documentary on Hitler. They r eally ought to call it the Hit ler Channel. But why the sheika?"
    "Many reasons, lord. First, she is the sheika, the first lady of Matar , a respected personage of reputation and authority. Second, she has experience in television."
    "Yes." the emir said, as if warming to the concept, "she was very successful in London. Until she gave it up to marry a raghead!"
    Florence smiled noncommittally.
    "But a very nice rag. Go on. You have our attention."
    "Third, we of course require a Matari partner in this enterprise, since by law. Mataris must own fifty-one percent of any business operating here. These three factors make the sheika a natural person to lead our venture."
    "Who is 'we? Who are you?"
    "I am merely a television producer. This project is my concept. With an enterprise of this size, one has backers, investors. But we are prepared to give to you—"
    "To the people of Matar, you mean."
    "Fi fty-one percent ownership."
    "Um ."
    "Shall we say fifty-f ive percent?"
    "My hearing is not what it used to be. The years of shooting gazelle..."
    "Sixty percent?"
    "I think 1 heard you say seventy."
    "Sixty -five."
    "Let us say two thirds, sixty-six. So much easier on the accountants."
    "So it is done."
    "And the sheika's role, she would be, what, ornamental?"
    "On the contrarv. It is our hope that she would become very much involved. It was this part that worried me in presenting the plan to His Majesty."
    "How so?"
    "I fear that we might be, well, taking her away from you. Starting a television station can be a very consuming enterprise. But very fulfilling."
    "Ah. Well, that is for her to decide."
    "H is Majestv's reputation as an enlightened man and husband does not do him justice."
    "We are not a backward people. Ms. Farf aletti. Unlike some in the region. I shal l present your proposal to the Sheika. I must say, I have mixed feelings, for is it not written that a man who makes his wife queen ends up washing the dishes himself?"
    "But is it not also written, sire, that a man who gives his wife an occupation creates for himself an oasis?"
    "I'm not sure what part of scripture we're both quoting, but you may have something there, Ms. Farfa—Florence. No w, if you will excuse me, my next audience is upon me. You see that an emir's life is not all fig oil."
    "I hardly see how His Majesty manages at all."
    CHAPTER EIGHT
    W ord arrived the next morning a t the Opulent that the sheika L aila wou ld receive Florence that same d ay for lea.
    Florence felt oddly more nervous about this meeting than sh e had about the interview with E mir Gazzir. Perhaps it was because she had spent so much t ime going over Bobby's File. She fell she'd been prying indecently into the woman's life. She fell—yes, that was it—guilty. It was one thing to try to pull the wool over the eyes of a plump born -lucky p otentate with the nickname of G azzy, and another to deceive his long-suffering wife. All for a good cause. But still, Florence felt a kinship with the woman. They were both bright women who been swept away by princes to go live in sand castles. Florence's had simply crumbled first.
    Bobby's briefing on L aila was appalling in its detail. It spoke well of the CIA's detail-gathering, but—really.
    "N o, no, I don't want to know that ." she said after Bobby began to explain the circumstances under which L aila. at age seventeen, had lost her virginity: on a school trip, in Paris, to a guide at the Louvre. "It's just not relevant, and it's none of my or anyone's business."
    "It's all business." Bobbv said. "You never know what detail's gonna be the one saves you." H e put the dossier down on he r desk. "I'd seriously suggest y ou read this file in its entirety. Ma'am." And with that, he walked out.
    She