Free Sanctum by Lexi Blake Page B

a, “Sir.”
    “Fine. Cuss away, little sub. Rail at the machine. It won’t get you what you want. You didn’t tell him you wanted to stay. I know you’re going to say you were hurt and shit, but that’s the heart of this little problem. He was stubborn, but that came from a place of caring. He wanted to do what was best for you. He didn’t feel like he was the same Dom you had signed a contract with.”
    “I didn’t care about the money. If anything, it was a hindrance. He spent so much time working that we didn’t have time together.”
    “Did you tell him that? Did you tell him you needed more time together?”
    No. She hadn’t. Because she’d been afraid if she wasn’t easy to get along with, that he would leave her. And if he’d left her because he was ashamed and scared, then she’d pushed him away for the same reasons. And for a worse one.
    Because she’d wanted him to know how it felt.
    That knowledge had been burning in her gut for weeks. She was living in a place supplied by him. Her sister was singing his praises and she knew damn well that Ashley was talking to him, giving him updates on how she was doing. And Jill was stuck because she’d put herself in a corner and didn’t know how to get out.
    She shook her head. “No. I didn’t. And when he gave me away, I didn’t argue with him. I stayed very calm because I didn’t want him to know how badly he’d hurt me.”
    “Did you ever tell him you loved him? Sorry, I just vomited a little in my mouth. I hate having to do this shit.”
    She ignored his sarcasm. “No. I never told him. It wasn’t in our contract.”
    “Then you should write another contract because he’s got it bad. Just between you and me, Ryan turned down an offer to head a new business.”
    She’d heard something about him trying a new start-up. He’d turned them down? “He told you that?”
    “No. He’s surprisingly tight lipped. Another reason I like him. I just happen to be damn good at gathering intelligence. He turned it down in exchange for a fraction of what the idea will someday be worth. Do you want to know what he spent that fraction on?”
    She was afraid she already knew. The bills had stopped coming. At first she thought it was because of the move, but Ashley seemed so calm and happy. She was talking about going to college. She wasn’t worried all the time. “He paid off my sister’s medical bills.”
    “Bingo. See, you’re a smart girl after all. So to sum all of this up, you lost a year and a half you could have spent with your Dom because you were too stubborn to tell him you loved him. You got your ass shot because you were too stubborn to ask for help. You’re going to lose your Dom because, hmmm, wow, there’s that stubborn thing again.”
    “I get your point.”
    He softened slightly, leaning forward. “There’s a reason men like Ryan and I become Doms. The world seems easier to deal with when it’s black and white. We’re not good at dealing with shades of gray, so we sign contracts that spell out everything we need and everything we’re supposed to do. It makes us feel safe because it doesn’t allow a lot of room to fuck up. And we still manage to fuck up. That’s where the sub comes in. What’s the first job of the submissive?”
    “To obey the Dom.”
    “You’re right, at least to my thinking. Not according to Jake and Adam’s wife, though. Those books of hers. Yuck. She seems to think a sub’s first job is to save her Dom because if the sub doesn’t, he’ll end up tied up in contracts and a world without a lick of color in it. It’s all bullshit, but that’s what she says.”
    A single moment rushed through her memory.
    Ryan walking off the airplane with a bundle of flowers in his hand. How hard had it been to keep them from being crushed? He’d likely had to hold them the whole flight . “They reminded me of your hair. All golds and browns and reds. I couldn’t stop myself.”
    He hadn’t trusted her to stand